Oh, Mr. Sinister, I feel for you.
I understand how hard it is and I'm sending you a big hug.
I had my dog, Rerun, put down last September, and I still haven't gotten another one, because no one could compare to my honey. I keep visiting shelters and end up about to burst in tears. I rescued a cat instead, she was living under a restaurant for almost a year and I caught her. She's so happy now, and I'm trying my best to get to know her and to give her a great life.
Molly must have been so special to you, it's hard to release the tightness in your heart.
You have to think that you gave her a great life, and that, in itself, is wonderful.
Hang in there, it'll get better...