Got in a lot of fights in first grade. Learned that the fastest way to finish was go for the headbutt, since my arms were too uncoordinated. No one saw it coming, and it resulted in an immediate draw. It was my signature, and I was proud.
I was usually too big to be bullied by individuals, but something about me has always triggered some mob mentality impulse that can cause even unconnected people to attack me en masse. Smaller kids my same age knew I couldn't run fast, so they'd gang up and shove me from all directions. In fifth grade, I just barely managed to catch one of them, resulting in my only suspension. Probably for the best. By that time I was already so sick of human nature that I didn't value human life unconditionally, so if I had ever knocked one of my assailants down, I probably would have just kept stomping on them and beating them with whatever was at hand until either someone stopped me or I got tired. Nothing I said to people ever hurt them even the tiniest fraction as badly as what they said hurt me, so I reasoned that I was entitled to hurt them physically.
I never intentionally picked on anyone else, just became a rageaholic whenever I was victimized.
I did sometimes make jokes that others took the wrong way because I couldn't always tell what was insulting vs. funny.
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No one in the world ever gets what they want,
and that is beautiful.
Everybody dies frustrated and sad,
and that is beautiful.
-TMBG