Just shut up and hold me

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I'm the opposite. I don't want to be held. I want to blab.

Though I do usually want the other person to shut up.

Funny how sensory overload never applies to my own ramblings.

Yup - I'm lucky enough to have a partner that is happy with that.

......handing out soppy hugs......

I feel like that all the time.

Always.

As long as they have my permission.

uhm. no, i dont like people touching me. it would bother me greatly if somebody tried holding me

yeah, i know the feeling.

i wouldnt discard good conversation, but sometimes, just being liked without words would be bliss. and you indeed put the feeling into words very well.
there is this cheesy saying that you recognize good people by that you can have a good talk with them. but youll know you found someone really special when the two of you can shut up with each other (translation is a bit sloppy... there is an active verb for being silent in german that works much better in this context).

what really bugs me is that its deemed convention for males to use their stock of testosterone for thinking. talking - only if it gets you to bed and business witha female. physical contact - with males to fight over bed and business with a female or with a female - in bed and at business. only. duh.
although we are said to be cold people, i tend to think a lot of us aspies are hung so much better in the emotions department than most of our our nt counterparts (apes).

This reminds me of how people who are having a rough time tell their problems to somebody, and then hate it when the other person gives them advice. The point is not that they need HELP, they just need SUPPORT.

Anyway, yeah, I do feel this way sometimes. Sometimes I don't want to explain myself, I just want somebody to care enough about me that they DON'T care, if that makes sense...

Lies down next to you wrapping my strong arms around you giving you a big hug willing to stay like this all day

sometimes i feel like that, too

I have felt like that sometimes.

Mostly though, I wish I could answer to your wishes... with the people I care about.

I find that I sometimes get anxious when I think someone I care about is unhappy.
I just don't know what to do and so I wind up talking or asking questions.

My former wife once told me a story how she was feeling depressed in medical school.
She called up her mom saying she felt so unwanted and that she felt no one would want her.

She says her mom told her, "Well, why would anyone want you?" and went into some sort of pep talk.
She said it did help lift her out of her depression that time.
After she told me that story... my poor ole brain locked onto it.

Next time my wife felt sad/depressed, I tried to do my version of what her mom did in the story...BAD IDEA!

I had no clue as to what I was doing and all she really needed was someone to hold her and listen to her at the time.

I did this a few more times before my wife got fed up once and told me how much it hurt her that I wouldn't just be quiet when she needed me.

I had to work to remember to not do the same thing, but eventually I did quit.

Have I said enough for you yet?

I have one friend who I believe has AS.
I really like her and care about her and I wish I could have the chance to just sit and hold her when she needs comforting... I'm trying my best when I see her, just in the way I do now, to be mindful of how she feels most comfortable dealing with people.

Maybe someday I'll get it right... if I don't completely blow it with her in the meantime.

I think I understand what you mean.

I need my space. I wouldn't want to someone I have drag around grabbing on to my ankles. However, a hug can be really mind-blowing thing. In a way a hug can be more affectionate, more intimate than a kiss. I think so. Who says aspies can't do non-verbal communication?

I do like to talk a little too. I can talk away to my friends, often I’m not that bothered if they are really listening. I can't really blame them if they are not interested in all the random crap that I come up with.

KINDA...HUGS. Wouldn't it be nice to get buried in a loving body without the need to feel like a performing seal? I DON'T WANT TO " RELATE "; if I tell you what I'm thinking ( I want to get up and take a 20 mile walk, eat a sandwich,read a book...), YOU'LL JUST GIVE ME THAT HURT LOOK AND SAY "YOU'RE SO COLD!". Well, not really, but could we cut the mushy stuff, it makes me itchy...