I wanna hear your jokes

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Some notices on church doorways,put up in haste

"The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind.They can be seen
in the basement"

"Don't let the Devil be the one that drives you to despair.Let the Church help"

"A meeting of the Low Self-Esteem Support group will take place on Tuesday at 7pm,
if there is any interest.Use the back door only please"

Why shouldnt you wear Russian underpants?


Cher-knob-al fall out

When I was ten my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.

One afternoon the Devil is in his office in Hell, not particularly busy, when his secretary buzzes to say there's someone who wants to talk to him. "He says it's quite urgent", she adds.

"Send him in", the Devil replies.

The door opens and God walks in.

"You?" the Devil says, slightly stunned. "What the H...erm, what are you doing here?"

"Don't come over all innocent with me", God says. "You know what I'm here for. You've been stealing souls that were rightfully Heaven-bound, and if you don't return them to me, I'll.."

"You'll do what, exactly?" the Devil says, with contempt.

"I'll have no choice but to pursue the matter in court."

The Devil starts giggling, then bursts out into laughter and starts rolling around his office floor, at which God is rather confused.

"What? What's so funny about that?"

"You? Take me to court?", laughs the Devil, "Where the f**k are you going to get a lawyer?"

When picking a headrest for your powerchair pick it like your picking a wife... make sure you are comfortable with it... because your head is gonna be with it for a long time...



hmm.. now why do they call it the F-Series...

i wouldnt be surprised if people with disabilities have tried sex in a tilt system!

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

A pastor lived next door to a kid who owned a lawn mower. The pastor's grass needed cut, so he asked the kid if he could borrow the lawn mower from him. The kid agreed and taught him how to start the lawn mower: "Just do it like my dad does - pull on the cord and cuss a little."

The pastor said, "Oh, I can't cuss, I've been a pastor for forty years."

The kid replied, "Don't worry. After you pull on that cord a few times, it'll come back to you."