Is not giving holiday presents child abuse?

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Is not giving holiday presents child abuse?
Yes 19%  19%  [ 4 ]
No 52%  52%  [ 11 ]
Depends 29%  29%  [ 6 ]
Total votes : 21

Kilroy
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15 Dec 2007, 3:29 am

okay... :P
(or any others
angry brothers, partners :lol:
I sometimes act flirtatious but just to be nice-like gay guys do...
though I like women
mostly :lol: )



cerasela
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15 Dec 2007, 3:30 am

It might be shocking, but I am a straight female and I had an attraction for a woman once...I didn't act on it...I was a sissie...


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Kilroy
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15 Dec 2007, 3:32 am

we're all a tad bi
me more then you :lol:
I'd rather a girl methinks
things fit :lol:



cerasela
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15 Dec 2007, 3:33 am

:)


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Kilroy
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15 Dec 2007, 3:35 am

that smile is flirty
change it :mrgreen:
I am of age :wink:

:lol: :lol: :lol:



gbollard
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15 Dec 2007, 5:51 am

The baby isn't even born and you're stressing about it. Don't worry, that particular attitude will be shattered long before the baby is conscious of the problem.

I can't begin to tell you how many things we said "oh, my child won't be doing that!" about that they do all the time now.

First time parents have NO clue,.



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15 Dec 2007, 3:04 pm

Look up the word "abuse" in the dictonary. Not giving presents to kids in the holidays is NOT child abuse!

Christmas isn't all about presents anyway, it's about spending time with family [well, thats if you get along with them] and friends and having a good time.


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busy91
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15 Dec 2007, 3:08 pm

A lot of people don't celebrate Christmas or give gifts. Jehova Witnesses don't celebrate Christmas or Birthday's. It is not child abuse. Besides, a child cannot miss what they never had. If she feels what she will do is the right thing, then it is. The holiday is all about God anyway isn't it? Christmas has gotten so secular.



Kilroy
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15 Dec 2007, 3:11 pm

its all capitalist BS
and stolen from my pagan brothers and sisters
for shame!!



cerasela
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15 Dec 2007, 3:46 pm

I actually get embarassed when I get gifts, because I don't feel like anyone should spend their hard earned money on ME and because...this is really embarassing, nobody knows what I really need (I don't want things I "like", that's so Barbie...) and it is hard to be gracious when you get something useless. I always made my point way before holidays that I really don't want presents from my ex in laws, but it never got across. I always like to give as a gift money or a gift card (where you know that person likes to go). But I was raised in a poor country, so I did not grow up with this concept of gifts. Christmas as I remember it was going to my grandma's house (in the countryside at her little farm), with all the family that I really loved, we went to a gorgeous monastery for religious services and spend the rest of the time just having a good time, helping grandma around the farm etc. It's really hard for me to accept this weird type of Christmas that I had to live thru in USA (more like torture with all the shopping and smells etc.). It used to make me really depressed, but I don't care anymore, I just go to my church when they have the Christmas service and go home alone and call it a nice Christmas. When my daughter was little, me and my ex took her to the mall at Christmas time (a very big ordeal for me with AS, but at the time I didn't know I had it and I was just thinking that I was antisocial...), so we took my daughter in a stroller, in a huge mall, with very big "Christmas smells", gingles, big music etc...my exact picture of hell...so at one point, she raised herself up from the stroller and just screamed really loud: "Shut up! Everybody shut up!". I know it's not funny how I say it here, but it was so funny to see and hear that...specially that I didn't know she had such words in her vocabulary (she was only 2). I was so proud of her... :? :)

I am not blaming American people that they lost the whole point about Christmas, it is not their fault, it is a capitalist society and the economists got the best of it... And I also know that there are a lot of families in US that spend meaningful Christmases, meaningful from my point of view, because it is meaningful for everybody in their own way.


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beau99
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15 Dec 2007, 5:00 pm

opal wrote:
A woman at work is pregnant, and I heard that when the child is born, she is refusing to get it christmas presents,(She's Christian) or allow it to be bought any Christmas presents, " To teach it a lesson" 8O
The lesson is supposed to be that Christmas presents are not important, birthday presents are, and Christmas is Jesus's birthday. Words to that effect.

LOL.

Seeing as how Christmas isn't Jesus' birthday and all...

and for the record, I am, in fact, a Christian.


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LiendaBalla
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15 Dec 2007, 8:29 pm

It looks like a religious thing, not an abuse one. A parent isn't abusing their child just by not giveing them a gift. There are families that refuse to do christmas for some reason that doesn't really have anything to do with abuse. Mostly it is religion.

However, it is abuse if the present is not given when the parent wants to 'teach them a lesson' for being born, rather than "teach them a lesson, because we believe it's an important one". The parent chose their birth, not the child, so it's wrong to make a child feel guilty.

Maybe an abusive parent would remind the child again, and again why they didn't/won't get the gift, and make the child feel like they are at fault.

eg. "You're not getting anything this year, because you are a selfish, nousy brat that does nothing but get on mommies nerves. I have to deal with you everyday, and you know bad little kids don't get presents; they get coal or dirt instead."

rather than... "I didn't give you gifts this Christmas because we don't believe in Christmas." "You didn't get one this year, because I want you to know that we don't need gifts for this time of the year."

If the kid didn't do anything wrong, then obviously the parent is wrong for punishimg them in that way. Which doesn't seem like the case from what you put.



Last edited by LiendaBalla on 15 Dec 2007, 8:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Reodor_Felgen
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15 Dec 2007, 8:34 pm

Depends. Christmas means much more to children than it does to adults, and let's face it: What the children loves most about christmas is receiving presents.



Kilroy
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15 Dec 2007, 9:23 pm

cerasela wrote:
I actually get embarassed when I get gifts, because I don't feel like anyone should spend their hard earned money on ME and because...this is really embarassing, nobody knows what I really need (I don't want things I "like", that's so Barbie...) and it is hard to be gracious when you get something useless. I always made my point way before holidays that I really don't want presents from my ex in laws, but it never got across. I always like to give as a gift money or a gift card (where you know that person likes to go). But I was raised in a poor country, so I did not grow up with this concept of gifts. Christmas as I remember it was going to my grandma's house (in the countryside at her little farm), with all the family that I really loved, we went to a gorgeous monastery for religious services and spend the rest of the time just having a good time, helping grandma around the farm etc. It's really hard for me to accept this weird type of Christmas that I had to live thru in USA (more like torture with all the shopping and smells etc.). It used to make me really depressed, but I don't care anymore, I just go to my church when they have the Christmas service and go home alone and call it a nice Christmas. When my daughter was little, me and my ex took her to the mall at Christmas time (a very big ordeal for me with AS, but at the time I didn't know I had it and I was just thinking that I was antisocial...), so we took my daughter in a stroller, in a huge mall, with very big "Christmas smells", gingles, big music etc...my exact picture of hell...so at one point, she raised herself up from the stroller and just screamed really loud: "Shut up! Everybody shut up!". I know it's not funny how I say it here, but it was so funny to see and hear that...specially that I didn't know she had such words in her vocabulary (she was only 2). I was so proud of her... :? :)

I am not blaming American people that they lost the whole point about Christmas, it is not their fault, it is a capitalist society and the economists got the best of it... And I also know that there are a lot of families in US that spend meaningful Christmases, meaningful from my point of view, because it is meaningful for everybody in their own way.


I would love to live somewhere where materialism isn't a dominant force in every day life.
I was just talking about it today to a friend of mine who lives in Romania-life there seems so, well less sickening-food here is chalked so full of garbage, were trained to buy buy buy, christmas is a crock of nothing anymore :roll: there's no soul in anything-its just who makes the most money
money, money money...
I don't like living in a place where thats all people want and are steping all over people to get...I know its like that everywhere but the western world is so terrible and souless :?
first chance I get I am gone...