how to go on the offensive

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I think you have every right to defend yourself if someone is clearly attacking you.
If you let people walk all over you, they will!!

But I draw the line on going on the offense for revenge or something similar.

Also thinking all people of a certain group need to be attacked is wrong, there are good and bad wherever you go.

It's especially dangerous when thinking with one's mouth open; a lot of things can be said that can't be unsaid. I'm guilty of this much of the time. At least in writing I can more easily censor myself.