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dragonsanddemons
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03 Dec 2020, 12:04 am

I have never told a lie in my life.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


Edna3362
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03 Dec 2020, 12:08 am

Whenever I say 'yes', it means ALL THE TIME, IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, WITHOUT ANY EXCEPTIONS.

Whenever I say 'no', it doesn't mean 'never'.


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Erewhon
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03 Dec 2020, 2:18 am

Christmas songs is the most beautiful music there is on the planet, i love it dearly.
But there is 1 exception, the song below i extremely hate.



Tempus Fugit
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03 Dec 2020, 2:58 am

Queen Elizabeth pinched me bum.



Edna3362
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03 Dec 2020, 3:15 am

My shoes likes to talk to me.
With my toes for their teeth, they say "WAAAAAAAHHH!! !! !"

Never found that amusing. Nor mom found it worrying. :jester:


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auntblabby
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03 Dec 2020, 4:56 am

dogs especially loved maggie thatcher. [google her "nice" video]



FleaOfTheChill
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03 Dec 2020, 7:50 am

Little known fact about lighters, they're called that because they are actually lighter than air. The way bic combats this problem and keeps lighters from floating away from their owners is by gluing tiny rocks to the bottom part of the inside of their lighters. That also explains why lighters run out so fast...they're only half full of lighter fluid when you buy one.



Tempus Fugit
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03 Dec 2020, 8:02 am

Abraham Lincoln is a fictional character.



auntblabby
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03 Dec 2020, 8:08 am

i invented air yesterday, while working on a COVID cure that didn't require refrigeration.



maycontainthunder
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03 Dec 2020, 8:29 am

My farts can be detected by radar.



auntblabby
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03 Dec 2020, 8:55 am

mine can be detected by LIDAR, and are visible from outer space.



Tempus Fugit
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03 Dec 2020, 9:22 am

I have a full sized replica of the Eiffel Tower in my living room.



auntblabby
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03 Dec 2020, 9:39 am

i ate a magical bug that flew into my mouth which gave me the power to fart in the 7 colors of the rainbow :colors:



CockneyRebel
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03 Dec 2020, 9:57 am

My poop is pink and it smells like roses.


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Edna3362
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03 Dec 2020, 10:11 am

And then, from where I came from...

There's a rite of passage for boys to be recognized for their masculinity before puberty... :twisted:

... It does NOT involved getting chopped by tools made of wood, on the stretched tip of their private parts, and then had to wear a skirt for days because of that.


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Cornflake
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03 Dec 2020, 5:38 pm

Galileo kept worms in a jam jar.


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