LittleCoyoteKat wrote:
I don't know if royally P***ED is the same as Unhappy, but it definitely means I'm not happy at all.
Let me start off with a jarring statement...
I absolutely, unequivocally, with a darkness and depth that only black holes can match,
HATE my Father. He is a textbook Narcissist, he's an abusive, cruel drug addicted alcoholic. And it breaks my ****ING HEART that my Mother still has love for him because she thinks somewhere in that mess of utter garbage is the person she loved once. I don't know if that person even existed at all or if he was just exceptionally clever at faking the personality he presented back then.
That being said, this bag of dicks is now playing games with my Mother's health. She requires a brain scan, and a test for her auditory function. They called to schedule the test/scan, but they called HIS cell number instead of hers. Which they keep doing no matter how many times she asks them to change it. (I should probably add that they don't live together, my Father moved back into his childhood home to care for his ailing Mother and has stayed there though she's passed) He deleted the number, didn't take down any information, and finally tells her tonight "Yeah I wasn't going to tell you but maybe it's important so I guess I should." that they called him.
Why, you ask?
Because he's mad at her.
He's risking her health,
because he's mad at her.
Why is he mad?
Because she refuses to sleep in the same bed with him once she moves over there (the house was left to him) because he doesn't shower, refuses to put his false teeth in, has drug sores all over his body, and walks around all 300 flabby alcoholic pounds of him in Tightey Whiteys. And when he asked "What's the problem?" after incessantly hounding her about it for months, she snapped and just blurted it all out. So he got mad and is pulling petty little games like he always does when being a mean nasty bastard doesn't work.
I am so furious right now I'm shaking. It's been an hour since I found out, and I'm still so angry I'm having a hard time controlling myself. (I have anger management issues, wonder where THOSE came from

) I'm well aware of why it's important and necessary to control myself and my reaction to my anger. So I'm posting here, because all I can think about is driving over there, getting as close as I can to his face, and telling him that if something bad happens to my Mother because of his petty narcissistic bulls***, then he better fear me like his good Catholic family fears God.
I'm really hoping I can talk her into leaving finally and living with us. She needs to. She doesn't need to waste what's left of her time here in misery with that useless monster.
For those of us who've experienced narcissists, this is not jarring at all, sadly. If you just need to vent, you can ignore the next bit I've typed - I go into problemsolving mode PDQ, and if that's the opposite of what you need just now, the post will be here later if you want it then. I will say that (as you already know full well) your rage at your father is nothing to be ashamed of - the shame in this situation belongs with him. Hugs, or whatever expression of support from "some stranger on the net" works best for you.
The thing that comes to mind immediately as I read is that you might try asking your mom to give you some kind of limited healthcare guardianship - not sure what the laws are, but an elder law attorney WILL give you a free consultation and there's more info online now than ever. If that works out, you could use it to push her docs into correcting the contact information, or making you the contact point. Sadly, it sounds as if she is still spackling for him on a conscious level (excusing and justifying the narcissistic abuse) which is something "normal people" are trained to do (then groomed to do by abusers moving in on them). That may never end - it's hard to jar someone out of it, as they will usually displace their anger onto the person trying to convince them otherwise.
_________________
"I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are the good people and the bad people," said the man. "You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides."
-- Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!