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cecilfienkelstien
Veteran
Joined: 10 May 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,922
Location: Ontario Canada
07 Jan 2018, 9:31 am
07 Jan 2018, 9:41 am
LittleCoyoteKat wrote:
I don't know if royally P***ED is the same as Unhappy, but it definitely means I'm not happy at all.
Let me start off with a jarring statement...
I absolutely, unequivocally, with a darkness and depth that only black holes can match, HATE my Father. He is a textbook Narcissist, he's an abusive, cruel drug addicted alcoholic. And it breaks my ****ING HEART that my Mother still has love for him because she thinks somewhere in that mess of utter garbage is the person she loved once. I don't know if that person even existed at all or if he was just exceptionally clever at faking the personality he presented back then.
That being said, this bag of dicks is now playing games with my Mother's health. She requires a brain scan, and a test for her auditory function. They called to schedule the test/scan, but they called HIS cell number instead of hers. Which they keep doing no matter how many times she asks them to change it. (I should probably add that they don't live together, my Father moved back into his childhood home to care for his ailing Mother and has stayed there though she's passed) He deleted the number, didn't take down any information, and finally tells her tonight "Yeah I wasn't going to tell you but maybe it's important so I guess I should." that they called him.
Why, you ask?
Because he's mad at her.
He's risking her health, because he's mad at her.
Why is he mad?
Because she refuses to sleep in the same bed with him once she moves over there (the house was left to him) because he doesn't shower, refuses to put his false teeth in, has drug sores all over his body, and walks around all 300 flabby alcoholic pounds of him in Tightey Whiteys. And when he asked "What's the problem?" after incessantly hounding her about it for months, she snapped and just blurted it all out. So he got mad and is pulling petty little games like he always does when being a mean nasty bastard doesn't work.
I am so furious right now I'm shaking. It's been an hour since I found out, and I'm still so angry I'm having a hard time controlling myself. (I have anger management issues, wonder where THOSE came from
) I'm well aware of why it's important and necessary to control myself and my reaction to my anger. So I'm posting here, because all I can think about is driving over there, getting as close as I can to his face, and telling him that if something bad happens to my Mother because of his petty narcissistic bulls***, then he better fear me like his good Catholic family fears God.
I'm really hoping I can talk her into leaving finally and living with us. She needs to. She doesn't need to waste what's left of her time here in misery with that useless monster.
Let me start off with a jarring statement...
I absolutely, unequivocally, with a darkness and depth that only black holes can match, HATE my Father. He is a textbook Narcissist, he's an abusive, cruel drug addicted alcoholic. And it breaks my ****ING HEART that my Mother still has love for him because she thinks somewhere in that mess of utter garbage is the person she loved once. I don't know if that person even existed at all or if he was just exceptionally clever at faking the personality he presented back then.
That being said, this bag of dicks is now playing games with my Mother's health. She requires a brain scan, and a test for her auditory function. They called to schedule the test/scan, but they called HIS cell number instead of hers. Which they keep doing no matter how many times she asks them to change it. (I should probably add that they don't live together, my Father moved back into his childhood home to care for his ailing Mother and has stayed there though she's passed) He deleted the number, didn't take down any information, and finally tells her tonight "Yeah I wasn't going to tell you but maybe it's important so I guess I should." that they called him.
Why, you ask?
Because he's mad at her.
He's risking her health, because he's mad at her.
Why is he mad?
Because she refuses to sleep in the same bed with him once she moves over there (the house was left to him) because he doesn't shower, refuses to put his false teeth in, has drug sores all over his body, and walks around all 300 flabby alcoholic pounds of him in Tightey Whiteys. And when he asked "What's the problem?" after incessantly hounding her about it for months, she snapped and just blurted it all out. So he got mad and is pulling petty little games like he always does when being a mean nasty bastard doesn't work.
I am so furious right now I'm shaking. It's been an hour since I found out, and I'm still so angry I'm having a hard time controlling myself. (I have anger management issues, wonder where THOSE came from
) I'm well aware of why it's important and necessary to control myself and my reaction to my anger. So I'm posting here, because all I can think about is driving over there, getting as close as I can to his face, and telling him that if something bad happens to my Mother because of his petty narcissistic bulls***, then he better fear me like his good Catholic family fears God. I'm really hoping I can talk her into leaving finally and living with us. She needs to. She doesn't need to waste what's left of her time here in misery with that useless monster.
For those of us who've experienced narcissists, this is not jarring at all, sadly. If you just need to vent, you can ignore the next bit I've typed - I go into problemsolving mode PDQ, and if that's the opposite of what you need just now, the post will be here later if you want it then. I will say that (as you already know full well) your rage at your father is nothing to be ashamed of - the shame in this situation belongs with him. Hugs, or whatever expression of support from "some stranger on the net" works best for you.
The thing that comes to mind immediately as I read is that you might try asking your mom to give you some kind of limited healthcare guardianship - not sure what the laws are, but an elder law attorney WILL give you a free consultation and there's more info online now than ever. If that works out, you could use it to push her docs into correcting the contact information, or making you the contact point. Sadly, it sounds as if she is still spackling for him on a conscious level (excusing and justifying the narcissistic abuse) which is something "normal people" are trained to do (then groomed to do by abusers moving in on them). That may never end - it's hard to jar someone out of it, as they will usually displace their anger onto the person trying to convince them otherwise.
07 Jan 2018, 9:49 am
07 Jan 2018, 5:48 pm
I’m doing laundry, I almost finish, I did two loads, but I love having clean sheets & sweatshirts (I wash my new sweatshirts with my other sweatshirts) The cold weather is coming back this week 
I like wearing sweatshirts with my pajama bottoms.
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 115,245
Location: the island of defective toy santas
07 Jan 2018, 5:53 pm
07 Jan 2018, 5:57 pm
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 115,245
Location: the island of defective toy santas
07 Jan 2018, 6:06 pm
Esmerelda Weatherwax wrote:
^^ Bravo! I often wonder how often hearing aids are sold to people who just need earwax removed.
I can tell you, based on my dad's experience, that hearing aids don't work if the canal is blocked with gunk. they just squeal and whistle and acoustic feedback blocks their ability to selectively amplify sound. an ear doctor would therefore suss that out ahead of time.
before I was born, my older brother when he was about 4 years old, became deaf, my dad would shout at top volume in his ear with not a response. so they took him to the pediatrician who promptly dx'ed impacted wax in the canals, so the abnormal earwax accumulation seems to be a thing for the guys in my family.
07 Jan 2018, 6:12 pm
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 115,245
Location: the island of defective toy santas
07 Jan 2018, 6:18 pm
who in their right minds would enjoy eating soap? 
granted I have in the past been so hungry [forgot to bring lunch one time to work in the hospital] that I saw bars of soap in the supply room and thought seriously of tearing into one of them. 
07 Jan 2018, 6:25 pm
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 115,245
Location: the island of defective toy santas
07 Jan 2018, 6:28 pm
07 Jan 2018, 6:39 pm
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 115,245
Location: the island of defective toy santas
07 Jan 2018, 6:42 pm
you didn't send any to ME. 
07 Jan 2018, 8:05 pm
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
08 Jan 2018, 8:03 am
auntblabby wrote:
I awoke this morning, nearly deaf in right ear, took me an hour to cobble together a treatment [sharp flushes with a mixture of hydrogen peroxide 3% and distilled water, until a wax and hair plug the size of a .30 bullet, fell out. now I can hear, so far, better out of my right ear than I could in years.
I'm glad it worked for you. I'm having a problem with my right ear today too. It feels uncomfortable & hurting alittle at times. It's also harder to hear out of it. My girlfriend had to repeat herself a lot more than usual today. I suspect this is also related. I'm feeling kind of lightheaded at times today. I really hope I'm not getting sick or something. Maybe this will clear up when I wake up tomorrow. I really should go to bed soon.auntblabby wrote:
who in their right minds would enjoy eating soap? granted I have in the past been so hungry [forgot to bring lunch one time to work in the hospital] that I saw bars of soap in the supply room and thought seriously of tearing into one of them.
I saw Miley Cyrus on one of those late night shows(maybe Conan or Leno) a few years ago & she was practically bragging about how Billy Ray washed her mouth out with soap when she was little & said bad things. It really wouldn't surprise me if she didn't mind the taste or if she was smoking it or something. granted I have in the past been so hungry [forgot to bring lunch one time to work in the hospital] that I saw bars of soap in the supply room and thought seriously of tearing into one of them. Doing laundry made us unhappy today. We have a cart that we keep chained up next to the outside stairs by the front door. We mostly use it for bringing our laundry to the laundromat which is close thankfully. The cart was really hard to push because one of the front wheels was frozen & wouldn't turn all the way; it rolled OK but it wouldn't turn to steer. It was also difficult because there was some snow on the sidewalks & things. it had been plowed but what was left made things more difficult. We also had to go up a ramp that had snow on it. It was a lot easier to push it home thankfully because the wheel had unthawed & we were going down the ramp instead of up.
The laundromat made us unhappy too because they have a lot of dryers but a lot of them were marked as broken. Cass used a broken one that wasn't marked. We wasted some money & some time because she didn't check her cloths for a while after she started it. I blame the place & we learned a lesson that we hopefully won't forget~ to check the dryers shortly after they get started & add more quarters if they're working OK instead of putting them all in before we start.
08 Jan 2018, 9:35 am
