Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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snowstorm last night.

Thanx for the warning. So far I'm not dizzy or nauseous. I don't feel lightheaded today & my ear may be a tad better than it was yesterday but it kind of varies. It feels kind of stopped up thou like water's in it or something. I used to get ear infections more than the average kid probably but I haven't had one since I became an adult. I defiantly don't want to take any chances considering what happened to our pets. My throat is kind of bothering me today but it may just be my GERD acting up. I took a Protonix & it's doing alittle better. I'll just have to pay attention to things for now.

Thanx for that. She's spending the night at her aunt & uncle's so I have the place to myself tonight which doesn't really bother me. I hope your having a good day too.

a science experiment you could consider trying, would be to take some Sudafed and see if your ear improves, sounds like a clogged Eustachian tube from your description.

Thanx. I thought about trying it too. I'll do it tomorrow if it still ain't rite. I rather not take it at this time of night since it's kind of a stimulant. I have a bit of it on hand for allergies. Me & Cass's allergies have been acting up abit more than usual lately.

I hope it works for you, before I adopted the low-acidic regimen I had frequent sinus problems that were disabling.

I put new sheets on my bed, I had sooo much feet pain, I have ALOT of feet & ankle problems because of my Cerebral Pasly

The lotro yule festival ended before I used my tokens.

having a panic attack

Thank you. It's nice to at least hear from someone who has experienced narcissism firsthand. I often get shocked reactions from people who haven't. What a utopia they must come from.
This was entirely me venting my anger, like I said in the post.

I really appreciate the support, it's very kind of you to take the time to try to help, but unfortunately an outside perspective can do very little for me at this stage. I've been to therapy more than I'd like to acknowledge over the last 16 years of my life, and my Mother has been going since long before I have.
I know both of my parents very, very well. I know most of their motivations, I understand most of why they are the way they are, I know personal details about them that most people will never know about their parents. It's been a long time, learning them, and I was often caught in the middle to a higher capacity than just the sad/scared/worried/etc child. I was often the diplomat, the therapist, the outside party because although they are my parents and it affected me quite a bit, I'm extraordinarily capable of detaching myself from bias and preference and being open to other people's point of view even if I can't understand it well or don't agree. In fact, on a few occasions I ended up placing myself between them to prevent violence. (Not as a child, mind you, as a teenager, which was far less dangerous than it sounds as in my teens I was unusually strong, capable of lifting 250+ lbs weighing at 215 lbs and standing at 5' 8" tall)

They've been together around 46 years now, they are not flexible people, and they each have their own unique quirks that makes all outside influence useless. While my Mother is far beyond the point of displacing her emotions, and is very open at this stage in all our lives to hearing what I have to say and even agreeing with it, she has her own private reasons for staying that have nothing to do with making excuses for his behavior, and it's a choice she has to make for herself. On her own terms, for her own reasons. I can only offer her a safe, healthy place to live and hope she takes the offer. Trying to influence her behavior MAY work, but ultimately it will be to her detriment for many reasons if I do.

As for Kaiser out here, they won't listen to me any more than they listened to her. They're all too full of how qualified and educated they are to give a damn what anyone else says. It's rather tragic, considering how accessible and efficient health care is here.

my rash is back

@LittleCoyoteKat: my God, you've been through the wars. It sucks, doesn't it, the obtuseness of *professionals*. Sucks even more that we are forced to rely on them. I will wish you continued strength and times of rest - for body and soul. To the extent that validation helps, you have mine whenever you need it.

Angry people.

I suppose I have, lol. When it's all you've known though
Oh my God, yes. But it all stands to reason that a human can only understand so much about another human. How much insight can another person really have? The complexities of it all defy explanation of any kind. And as for standard doctors... don't even get me started. I understand that after a time you see so much of the same stuff day in and day out, and so many people want some magical cure and fail to listen, returning to you with the exact same problem they've asked you about countless times before. I get it. It's gotta be exhausting, infuriating and frustrating to see firsthand how apathetic and lazy people are even about their own health. But getting so jaded just dooms people that are there, genuinely, to receive a diagnosis and try to work with the doctor's recommendations to get better, prevent, and manage.
Thank you so, so very much. It always helps to know that one isn't alone in an experience.

A particular pharmaceutical medication I take is excessively,as there is now way I'm going to pay 360.00 American Dollars for such..

The blower on my electric furnace just started making a noise like a flat tire. Waited for cycle to end, turned fan on without heat, got same noise, so it's the blower for sure.

I have an emergency call in (had heater tuneup in October, it was fine, but it's 12 years old and this cold snap worked it harder than usual). So now I'm playing the waiting game. Of course, this had to wait until after 5 PM to happen - grrrrrrrrr$$$$$$$$$$grrrrrrrrrr.

I have oil filled radiators in every room and I have two extra emergency backup space heaters that I can put out, but I'm concerned about drawing too much current keeping the place warm without the central heat. I have circuit breakers, but worrying all night about having them trip while I'm asleep won't be any fun. And there's no way I'll be going to sleep anyway, with space heaters running in my LR and kitchen... I'll be up all night watching them.

Gaaaaah grrrrrrrrrrrrr.....

I'm also worried that they'll come out and won't have the part they need. I don't know thing one about blower mechanics, but the noise is a regular slap-type sound, like a belt is going bad. I hope that's what it is, and that's all it is, and they have a spare.

Aspie catastrophizing, I know, but experience has taught me to, sadly.

(I know, I know, it's much better to have this happening now than during the 7F with -5F windchills we just had, but it'd be even better not to have it happening at all. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.)

(I know, I know, it's much better to have this happening now than during the 7F with -5F windchills we just had, but it'd be even better not to have it happening at all. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.)[/quote]


That sounds intensely disheartening Esmeralda, I know what's it's like to be without heat during times of intense cold, really I do, as I hope your situation will be resolved.