Your Favourite Simpsons Quotes

Post Reply New Topic

(grandpas advice to homer on his wedding day)
"If you ever go back to the past for some reason dont touch anything the smallest thing could have sevastating consequences."

Moe: "So, what'll it be, Homer?"
Homer: "Moe...gimme a beer!"
Moe: "No...Not unless you kill your family."
Homer: "Why should I kill my family?"
Moe: "Uh...they'd be much happier as ghosts."
Homer: "You don't look so happy."
Moe: "Oh, I'm happy! I'm very happy! LALALA, LALALALA! See? Now waste your family, and I'll give you a beer!"

"Look at that! I'm the first non-Brazilian person to travel backwards through time!"

Yeah that episode was on the other day, it is one of my favirouts.

(on the phone)

Moe: "Homer, i need $50,000, dont ask why"

Homer "well, I need $50,000 too"

Moe: "But i asked you first"

Homer: "Oh ok, i`ll send you the $50,000"

------------------------------------

Marge: "Oh, your dad would have loved this kids.. the drunkeness, the ambiguity.."

------------------------------------

(a bunch of crows lands on homer)

Homer: "oh look, i made some new friends. Now go do my bidding!..whatever it may be..

(crows take off, and come back with beer and peanuts)

------------------------------------

Homer: "For me the 60`s ended december 31 1969...."

------------------------------------

(homer stoned)

Flanders: "Hi-diddely-ho neighbourrino"

Homer: "OH MY GOD!! MARGE come and look, theres a guy that
looks and talks just like Flanders!! !"

Homer: It's true, I'm a Rageaholic.....I just can't live without Rageahol!

(After Homer gets drunk at a party)
Marge: "I've never been so embarrassed in my life."
Homer: "Why? What did you do?"

(Marge and Homer have an argument in the car. Marge turns on the radio.)
Marge: "When I was young, I always hated knowing my parents were fighting."
(Bart, Lisa and Maggie watch from the house.)
Bart: "They're fighting in the car again."
Lisa: "That music always sends a chill down my spine."

The one my brother often quotes:

Homer(Happily/Excitedly): Hey! The retirement home is giving away 50 Soiled Matresses!

"I didn't do it!" - Bart.

This is so funny i have to do it again

Homer Stuck Waistdeep In Tar:

Don't worry kids, first I'll pull my legs out with my arms...
and now, I'll pull my arms out..
with my face

Simpsons Movie

Simpson: DOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE!! !! !! !! !

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Mayor Quimby talking at a townsmeeting:

"It has been brought to my attention that many of you are holding guns.
Therefor, i will step aside and open up the floor to other speakers"

Ralph
Im a rock sensation
you know that episode where they are a rockband and ralph sounds realy deep when singing.

Cletus: "How sweet it is!!"

not so funny, but a good saying

..and the one where he calls out all his youngens for supper
(26 names later all kids are accounted for)

Cletus - The Slackjawed Yokel - he and his wife have the same mother
that spells trouble

or, nothing spells lovin`like marrying your cousin..?


Cletus: "are you finished with the tub yet?

Brandine: " no, i`m still drowning these rats"

Cletus: "Still? are you drowning`em or makin love to `em?"

Homer: wait are you two brother and sister
Cletus: were lots of things
(the episode Homer starts marrying lots of people)

^

""Homer: wait are you two brother and sister?
Cletus: were lots of things""


"were lots of things".....scary answer

These are also the same ones that named one of their daughters
Crystal. Not to bad, exccept when her middle name is Meth...
poor kid

Children: Brandine, Gummy Sue, Tiffany, Andie, Gordon, Lizzie, Jackson, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Rubella Scabies, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, Condoleezza Marie, Phil, Birthday, Crystal Meth, Dubya, Incest, International Harvester, Jitney, Witney, Mary, Stabbed in Jail

...and a dog named Geech

Full name: Cletus Delroy Spuckler

Two names stick out alot: "International Harvester" and "Stabbed in Jail"
hehe what kind of names are those..Oh and this one: "Rubella Scabies"..

"Homer, nothing's more important to me than the health and well-being of my freaks. I'm sending you to a vet."

Homer: "Die? Well, you don't scare me doc. 'Cause dying would be a stone groove. Got any messages for Jimi Hendrix?"
Doctor: "Yes: Pick up your puppy!" (Indicates an ancient hound-dog named "Rover Hendrix")