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In one word, how do you feel right now?

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AnonymousAnonymous
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11 Jun 2018, 12:16 pm

Tense


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auntblabby
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11 Jun 2018, 5:04 pm

uncertain.



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11 Jun 2018, 5:10 pm

untouchable


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dragonsanddemons
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11 Jun 2018, 5:34 pm

Exhausted

Failure

Hopeless


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


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11 Jun 2018, 5:41 pm

relieved :mrgreen:



dragonsanddemons
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11 Jun 2018, 7:16 pm

Alone


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


kraftiekortie
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11 Jun 2018, 7:17 pm

What prompted this, Ms. Dragon? I'm a little worried.



dragonsanddemons
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11 Jun 2018, 7:26 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
What prompted this, Ms. Dragon? I'm a little worried.


Depression's just really bad no matter what I try, and I wonder if all the money my parents are putting into treatment for me is just going to waste. Even if it does help, what's the point if I'm quite probably never going to be able to live on my own? What return are they getting for their investment in me? Not having to feel like my death would be on their hands I guess is about the only thing. And then seeing/feeling the bond the rest of my family have with each other that I'm not really a part of and not hearing anything from my one close friend for a while has made me feel alone, and possibly even lonely, on top of that.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


auntblabby
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11 Jun 2018, 7:32 pm

^^^i'm glad you're here :flower:



kraftiekortie
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11 Jun 2018, 8:44 pm

Dragon's truly a nice person. And she's not a waste on resources or anything like that.

I wish I could hang out with her in person----so she'll know she's worthy.



auntblabby
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11 Jun 2018, 8:52 pm

i agree :pr: :pl: mee too :bounce:



Last edited by auntblabby on 11 Jun 2018, 8:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

dragonsanddemons
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11 Jun 2018, 8:53 pm

Aww, thank you both :) I wish I could just make myself believe those things.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


auntblabby
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11 Jun 2018, 8:55 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
Aww, thank you both :) I wish I could just make myself believe those things.


tell yourself that it doesn't matter about anybody else, you are WORTHY no matter what. :bounce: every time you see a mirror, face yourself and tell yourself YOU ARE WORTHY. repetition. and every time a contrary thought enters your thinking, chop it off at the knees and give it the bum's rush outta there!



kraftiekortie
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11 Jun 2018, 8:56 pm

Sometimes, Ms. Dragon, you have to "will" it.

That's the first step sometimes in emerging from depression. You must provide the first "push" sometimes.

I know this might sound "phony" to some----but this is something I firmly believe in.

Aside from all the therapies and all the medications.

That's what the psychiatrists fail to see, I believe, in their love of medicating their patients.



Mr.Robot
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11 Jun 2018, 9:03 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Dragon's truly a nice person. And she's not a waste on resources or anything like that.

I wish I could hang out with her in person----so she'll know she's worthy.


I agree, she is a nice person.


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auntblabby
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11 Jun 2018, 9:04 pm

I can tell you that at least for some people, this technique works- every time you have a bad thought, get in the habit of questioning it, by saying "REALLY??" alternately, when the bad thought happens, reflexively replace it with ANY other thought, even something like "I REALLY LOVE ICE CREAM!!" [that is what I did for myself]. the replacement thought doesn't have to be a grand thought but it has to be a DIFFERENT thought that redirects your thinking at that time. eventually this will become habitual. but until it becomes habitual you will have to put up signs in your place and your car and in your purse and every other place, reminding you to do this. but it works.