What's on your mind right now?

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.. I haven't seen a sight of the moon again tonight...

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Well, things are coming along smoothly with my move.

Ritalin.

I was diagnosed with predominant inattentive ADHD yesterday.

I've been prescribed 5mg of tranquilyn, a form of ritalin. I am to take it twice a day for the first week and three times a day afterwards. Thus far it has made me slightly more productive but I have had minor headaches and my mouth was extremely dry earlier on today. I hope that it can reduce the amount of times I completely 'zone out' during any given day.

Nothing that I could do would have a significant impact on anything

Might as well do what I want

Yeah I feel guilty, cowardly and lazy

But practical

I've been getting this odd sensation recently while in the room with two or more people talking to each other, where I see 'myself' from the perspective of their eyes, and therefore see me and the other person/people sitting across the room from wherever they are. I know it is just a mind trick, but it's quite vivid and doesn't do wonders for my flagging powers of concentration in the presence of strangers.

Radiant Historia remake................

private, captain, second lieutenant, colonel, specialist

army, navy, marines, coast guard, air force,

active duty, reserves

west point, air force academy, united states naval academy

dress blues

mess hall

barracks

head

ship

deployment

post traumatic stress disorder

stress card

smoking

drill sergeant

enlisted, officer

Quartermaster Corps, army corps of engineer, ammunition, recruiting,

psych ops, signal corps

JROTC, boy scouts, Rotc, officer training corps

shipping date

recruiter, MEPS, dodmerb

feel so guilty and ashamed for being just a scuzzy civilian

I have been on here, entirely TOO lonnnnng, today!!

feel like "life" is too good to be true

"As Good As it Gets".

almost no homophobia

no bullying or only brief, superficial, isolated incidents

room and board

no school or work

health decent

weight good

sleep great



paranoid about waiting for the other shoe to drop

$$ will run out sooner or later

someone might rape me

diseases, disabilities

Trumps laws

politics

homophobia

poverty

and et cetera

sooner or later it will get worse

much worse

trying to do fewer things

prolong the honeymoon. fantasy





tomorrow got a job interview. volunteer suicide hotline recipient operator. have to take train and bus. might not go

it's just a volunteer job

going there takes $$, time, effort. and it's an unfamiliar area too

do not want the job

just curious about what questions they ask



applied for an unpaid internship. but it's just the campaign. nothing that could help with my job search. besides of course, two extra lines on the old resume

but maybe nobody will make the mistake of hiring my worthless corpse ever again



there are so many things that precious lil "people" do a lot that royally get on my nerves

that i doubt i could ever have any friends again

it's like we have to write a written contract. everything each party will and will not do. and otherwise, then what

b/c it royally gets on my nerves how when i went to someone's house she told me to take off my shoes. did. then i went to the bathroom and there was liquid on the floor. so i asked which towel i could wipe it with. and i wiped it. then i wrote about it on LiveJournal. someone had the nerve to tell me that i should've asked the precious lil "friend" if she wanted to wipe it up or if she wanted me to wipe it up.

wtf?



could've gotten my socks wet.

and then things like that.

lulz

I want to play global thermal nuclear warfare alright, that is how much lulz I am.

I'm turning this ship around. This feeding frenzy needs to come to an end. This food orgy must stop. I don't want to go back to as strict a regime as I was on, but try to find somewhere in between.

What if my ass gets so big that there will not be room for a shower cabinet in the bathroom