What's on your mind right now?

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It's 4 am and can't sleep

Staring at the phone screen might make it harder to sleep

But there is nothing to do



Wish I was a skinny smart handsome cisgender white man. Infantryman. Military.

Combat engineer. That way I could be an engineer without a degree in engineering. Or any other degree

Just high school diploma and asvab

Noone cares about me

No matter how little I eat I will never be skinny

No matter how much I studied i could not succeed

No matter how hard I tried to explain gender identity, precious lil "people" were not receptive. 2004 San Diego

No matter how much I compromised nobody wanted to be my precious lil "friend" or hire me

^ As far as I can tell it's not about the eating, it's about the exercise.
I barely eat at all because I forget for days at a time and can't understand what the sensation of being "hungry" is sometimes, and though I'm not overweight, I'm not skinny. Getting enough good exercise AND enough to eat can make you both slim AND healthy. Sitting around on your arse starving yourself will make you both fat AND unhealthy.
Not to suggest that's what you're doing - it's rather what I'm doing.
Anyway.
At the moment my mind is spinning with a cost analysis of a potentially imminent move. I cannot stand this situation anymore and ANOTHER car crash seems likely to have written off ANOTHER car, and it's caused by living in a rural area.
Everything is just piling up and it's rage rage rage.
So this move may be my only choice. But it's VERY complicated with finances right now, and I have to try and work out if I could survive or not.
Seeing loans people tomorrow. I hate my life.

Maxed out air quality readings. Hazardous. Pegged on the high end of the danger scale for small particles, due to heavy smoke from a gigantic forest fire nearby. I finally thought to order an air purifier, and I don't know why I settled for two-day shipping. and for the first time splurged on one day shipping.

I'm not in a mood to go to sleep yet.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Lunch and a sleepy kitty.

I thought I could here a crowd cheering from over yonder.

C2v

Just curious. Not judging.

How is it possible to forget to eat for days on end?

Because I am totally obsessed with eating.

Very rarely has anything made me forget about eating. And that was several hours at most

But it is not just me.

Just walking down the street there are plenty of restaurants, littered food, strangers eating.

Granted I have not lived anywhere rural, only urban and suburban. (Fine). But it takes a lot of energy to imagine a situation where I could forget about eating for several days.

Only extreme situations.

But it is easy to imagine not having enough $$ to eat. I get that. All it takes is one unexpected expensive expense. Medical bills, a car crash, losing a lawsuit, getting robbed/burglarized. Dropping the phone in the toilet.

And etc

My appetite is, and has for a long time been, pretty subtle. Ambiguous.

Like I hardly ever feel hungry Per se. Like stomach growling. But I almost never forget to eat at regular intervals.

Once I start eating, I often feel like I can't stop though.

Sometimes something happens that scares or amazes me so much I forget to eat. But that hardly ever happens. And only briefly

Some diseases reduce appetite and or hunger. And I can imagine getting a disease like that. A couple weeks ago I got so constipated, that my appetite reduced. But not by much and not for long

The reason why I am asking how it is possible to forget to eat for several days, is because I want to copy your technique

One thing is that I want to lose weight

The other thing is that if I could eat less that would save $$ that I could waste on other things

I forget to eat when I get engrossed in something.
Eating seems a bother.
Often don't feel hungry until the afternoon, so I can go almost 24 hours without food.
This is a bad thing because I've always been on the underweight side, so I've started adding fat to almost everything I eat or drink.
Butter coffee and coconut oil cocoa are the go.

Raleigh

What are you engrossed in?

Work? What kind of work do you do?

School? What's your major?

Romantic relationships?

Social relationships?

Video games

Something else?





Last week I weighed under 106 pound. Five foot three. Chinese female. 34 year old

That weight is below the quota, by the military, for applicants my height. It is below the quota for men and women. It is below the quota for all ages





But just by one pound

Asians allegedly have much lower bone density than whites.

And I do not look that skinny, even compared to Chinese females. Cisgender. Of the same height weight and age

But whatever

The other thing is that the most recent menstrual cycle started September 12, 2016.

Last year

And I have not been on testosterone (to transition to male) since 2008 or something. And even then just one year

Seven more days





And I am now

Postmenopausal



So worried about gorging before then



That why I'm trying to avoid anything too risky

Get rid of the good and bad at the same time

Excessive negative emotions causes emotional overeating.

Emotional overeating causes weight gain. And makes the menstrual cycle come sooner





All other things being equal

Maps, distance, fresh water, fuel consumption and unpronounceable place names.

I'm listening to The Beatles compilation of #1 songs. It's interesting to hear how their music evolved from 'Love me Do' to 'The Long and Winding Road'.

Don't work.
Never finished high school.
Have a partner who is my full time carer.
Have a friend I see every 3 months or so.
Can't play video games.
I'm ret*d.

^Please don't use that word. Kitty hugs.

But it's true.

But you're not a TARDIS!

[Yes, I know that's a terrible joke playing off the fact that both words come from the same Latin root, meaning slow...Urgh...]

Boo's playing with a piece of paper on the floor. It's surprisingly cute.

Hurricanes