In one word, how do you feel right now?

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weaker.

frustrated

(lost credit card quite a while ago, but I'm quite sure it's in the house and I don't want a new one because I know the current card number by memory) No one has used it, so I know it's safe.

hope a burglar doesn't find it for you.

I'm sure it's in a pocket or bag or something, but will give up by tomorrow night and get a new one.



I like knowing the number by colour lol

I keep all but one credit card in the same place [a secret], with one on my person in my wallet where I can't lose it.

I'm normally the same, and very careful. But when I walk I have a cane and my dog (leash) and my phone and my bags, and I suppose I stuffed the card somewhere quickly last time.

I never have a free hand.

Frown.

god goofed when he didn't give us humans 2 extra arms that tuck away when not in use.

Agreed. I don't remember the last time I walked freely with two hands, without my cane (2015), my support dog (2010), or my nightmare that went from 2002 and stole my freedom. I guess it's been since 2001. Insane.

I'll teach Fido to hold things if I have to.

gosh, what happened?

It sounds like something from a movie, I'm sure. I was held hostage by a psychopath for seven years.
Hence, the trauma. I can't believe I just said it that clearly. I've been in therapy since 2009.

i'm so sorry this had to happen to you- gosh, I hope he is locked away forever where he can't hurt anybody else, and that providence helps the bad things fade away as soon as possible.

Hence, my name Isabella Linton from Wuthering Heights:

"The back of the settle and Earnshaw's person interposed between me and him; so instead of endeavouring to reach me, he snatched a dinner-knife from the table and flung it at my head. It struck beneath my ear, and stopped the sentence I was uttering; but, pulling it out, I sprang to the door and delivered another; which I hope went a little deeper than his missile. The last glimpse I caught of him was a furious rush on his part, checked by the embrace of his host; and both fell locked together on the hearth. In my flight through the kitchen I bid Joseph speed to his master; I knocked over Hareton, who was hanging a litter of puppies from a chair-back in the doorway; and, blessed as a soul escaped from purgatory, I bounded, leaped, and flew down the steep road; then, quitting its windings, shot direct across the moor, rolling over banks, and wading through marshes: precipitating myself, in fact, towards the beacon-light of the Grange. I would rather be condemned to a perpetual dwelling in the infernal regions than, even for one night, abide beneath the roof of Wuthering Heights again".

(Wuthering Heights, 1847).

This is a quote from Isabella Linton, that always resounds with me. ^

The person is institutionalized but it is an ongoing issue in my life to keep it that way.

I've been feeling the anger today, so that's why I'm so blunt about it. Sorry if it sounds off-key. I've come a long way with my therapist, and this year's ASD diagnosis has helped even more.

Thanks.

I had no idea that Wuthering Heights was like that

WH is a sadistic horror story. Hollywood cut the story in half and marketed it as a romance, which is entirely wrong.

Most of the movie posters show H & C in a passionate embrace, but this never once happens in the novel.

I love it, regardless.

(I think BBC renditions are reputed to be better, but they still market as a romance. I've never watched any film of the book because I like its true form, and I don't want the imagery in a movie to influence my perception).

somebody oughta remake the film truer to the book.

@IsabellaLinton I'm sorry you had to deal with a monster like that. True monsters exist in this world and they are not hidden in the shadows but are in plain sight. Had to deal with monsters myself and it changes you forever.

Wish you much strength in your struggles and good luck finding your credit card.