What's on your mind right now?

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I think I'll draw my book cover today.

Afraid I may melt down today.

I've heard that after we die, we continue to live on in the memories and dreams of people who remember us from when we were alive. And while that's a nice thing to think about when it comes to memories of my grandparents and such, what if no one remembers you? What if you were completely alone and not a single person knew you? What if there used to be people who knew you but now they're all dead, too?

Then it's like you never lived at all. And it happens. It happens all the time. And it's going to happen to all of us soon if the world keeps going on the way it is.

Every time my dog stops to investigate another dog's leavings (which I try not to let him do, but sometimes I don't realize until he gets in a cursory sniff), I'm afraid someone's going to come by, see us, and accuse me of not cleaning up after my dog. In actuality, I'm so good about cleaning up after my dog that one time I forgot to grab more bags before taking my dog for a walk, he stopped and did his thing about halfway through, I went to grab a bag and realized I didn't have any - so I went home, got a bag, and then walked back and picked it up, essentially giving my dog a double walk that day. I strongly suspect I'm the only person in the neighborhood who would even consider doing that, considering the amount of dog leavings I see around.

I've never heard anyone call them dog leavings before.

Just got home. I need to exercise after I'm done with my drink.

Life's a s**t and then you die.

Mary talked to me tonight and told me she was thinking of resigning just to stop all of the crap that is happening. She said she can't sleep and is throwing up a lot. She keeps seeing Joe everytime she goes outside. I said I am not resigning and giving them the satisfaction. I am going to let this ride out because I have nothing to hide and I'm telling the truth about everything. They are the ones spreading the lies to get signatures. Mary was already able to get one signature rescinded because the woman said she didn't even read the petitions and just took them for their word of what she was told was in them. Upon reading them, she took her signature off. They are already doing things incorrectly and wanting to spend homeowners money to send out there petitions and it is supposed to be ok'd by me - the Secretary. I am only going to ok it if me and Mary get to also send out a rebuttal. I do not think they can get 51 signatures. I told Mary that I am also not going to their little meeting just so I can be on trial. I will address all the things on the petitions on paper and the homeowners then can make an intelligent decision on whether they want to sign. I know they are lying and all this is is a damn witch hunt. Joe and Cheryl aren't going to get me to resign - I won't give them the satisfaction.

Ooh, Netflix has added a bunch of horror movies! Time to watch them all before they take them down again.

Just another day.

Just settling back down after a long month's journey.

That I must be losing my mind and having early-stage dementia. I made a cup of tea and forgot to add milk before I took a sip. Also I seem to be making more spelling and grammar errors than ever now, but I have a crappy keyboard and the keys often get stuck.

I wonder if whether deep down I'm here to find some sense of self, or if it's to maintain some weird last link to an aspie friend I lost (due to a chain of bad decisions I took in reacting to feelings I knew could not be returned, ironically enough, trying to avoid making a bad decision) just shortly after joining. I'd say I was more attached to her than anyone else I've ever met to this point.