unconventional insult thread

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your radio is not active.

your shoes can't fly

your flies wear shoes. they are shoe flies.

every tuesday afternoon you wake up in a round fish tank with no way out. you are always found alongside a lifesize klaymen with a plum in his pocket. you are consistently unable to activate the plum's self preservation measures as to force a fissure in the earth to open that swallows the plum and causes an electronic gorilla to rise from the earth, smashing the fish tank with its fists and securing your escape.

^^^ that should be expanded into an absurdist novel in the best tradition of kafka.

You're a descendant of Franz Kafka.

you're a descendent of bela Lugosi

I would like to join in, but I wanted to say something a little off topic first. I like to play a similar game, but it has a few rules. The main idea of my insult game is that you can only insult someone if the other person says something first. So an example would be if someone says "wood" in the middle of a sentence or conversation, you could insult the person by saying something like "you look like a woodchuck" or "you have wooden teeth". The other rule to my insult game is to keep the language fairly clean. The game can be expanded to include conversations on TV or conversations from complete strangers.

your game is lame

your brain is fair game for flame.

the flame is fed by your brain

This phrase usually only bursts out when I perceive somebody as a bad driver...
"What a doucheling!" or "They drive like a doucheling!"

when some automotive idiot nearly causes me tuckas to inhale car seat, I usually exclaim, "NO BRAINS!"

your bones are filled with a sort of spongy material previously thought to occur only in coral.

your eyes have little hairs surrounding them

your eyes are actually yosemite sam.