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GadgetGuru
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06 Sep 2023, 11:53 pm

I am equipped with a male appendage that measures at an extreme end of the Bell Curve, statistically speaking...

Darron



funeralxempire
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07 Sep 2023, 12:05 am

Hippos are known for their gentle, cuddly demeanour.


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The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.


IsabellaLinton
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07 Sep 2023, 1:28 am

My cat didn't vomit on the carpet and my dog didn't rush over to sniff it, or pee on top of it.


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auntblabby
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07 Sep 2023, 2:48 am

trumpy's donkey didn't get arrested a few days ago.



PhosphorusDecree
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07 Sep 2023, 5:11 am

"Ukulele" is pronounced "you-call-eel." The instrument was traditionally used in Mongolia to summon the annual eel migration.


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auntblabby
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07 Sep 2023, 3:01 pm

dookie doesn't reek.



blitzkrieg
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07 Sep 2023, 3:04 pm

Women are bombarding my inbox, clamouring for my attention.


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lostonearth35
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07 Sep 2023, 9:21 pm

I don't feel like my life has been a complete waste at all.



GadgetGuru
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07 Sep 2023, 9:27 pm

I have no further need of closeness and affection in my remaining time alive.

Darron



PhosphorusDecree
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09 Sep 2023, 2:26 pm

An "eyeroll" is a spring roll with eyes in it. Not to everyone's taste.


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GadgetGuru
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09 Sep 2023, 2:35 pm

I just "dropped" 325mg of edible THC, and I'm not scared at all...

Darron


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funeralxempire
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11 Sep 2023, 12:49 pm

Birds aren't drones controlled by the shape-shifting reptilian lizard people aliens from the centre of the earth.


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The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.


blitzkrieg
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11 Sep 2023, 1:10 pm

The reptilian shape-shifters are not controlling funeralxempire and have not injected him with a six monthly mind control serum.


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naturalplastic
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11 Sep 2023, 1:30 pm

I am rich enough to give to the Clinton Foundation...because I have a degree from Trump University.



Double Retired
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11 Sep 2023, 5:05 pm

Darn...I misunderstood!

I thought I was buying a "Time Tunnel". In fact, it was a "Thyme Tunnel".

It won't allow me to time-travel but it smells nice!


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blitzkrieg
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11 Sep 2023, 5:08 pm

I have successfully wrestled with and then defeated, a real life vampire.


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