What's on your mind right now?

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cathylynn
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26 Nov 2017, 7:38 pm

my husband said he is falling in love with me all over again; let's go get ice cream to celebrate. i said, "i have a coupon for that."

Kuraudo7777
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26 Nov 2017, 7:47 pm

Toki no kizamu uta.

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"A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel...As long as I'm with you, as long as you're by my side, I won't give up even if I'm scared." Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII

blue_bean
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26 Nov 2017, 8:54 pm

Now, I'm only 82.45% positive it was her but there she apparently was in Banyo Woolies on Saturday evening. She didn't see me thankfully. Looked like she was doing a weekly grocery shop with a guy and a toddler in the trolley (couldn't tell if boy or girl, I mean, the Hitler youth haircut he/she had can be construed as androgynous IMO ). If it's her she probably first met him on either one of her two trips here in 2010/2011, and not online as previously assumed. Not that anybody would care anymore.

DataB4
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26 Nov 2017, 9:12 pm

I'm thinking of how awful it is to feel like I have to be there for people, like I have to try, even if I‘m afraid of saying the wrong thing. There are times when it's easier to forgive myself for saying the wrong thing than for not being there for someone. Especially if it’s important to them and they have no one else to turn to at that moment. I'm still learning when to just listen, when to encourage, when to make suggestions, when to give someone a genuine compliment, how to get my own emotions out of my way, things like that. But my life can't wait for me to learn everything.

Kuraudo7777
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26 Nov 2017, 9:16 pm

^I think you're doing fine, personally.

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Raleigh
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26 Nov 2017, 9:28 pm

DataB4 wrote:

I've been very grateful for you being there for me a number of times.
I know I don't always acknowledge it, but I do digest your input, something like a python does, slowly and thoroughly.

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DataB4
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26 Nov 2017, 9:46 pm

Raleigh wrote:

DataB4 wrote:

I've been very grateful for you being there for me a number of times.
I know I don't always acknowledge it, but I do digest your input, something like a python does, slowly and thoroughly.

Thanks. I can sense that, now that I think about it. You take time to consider what people say, and you think deep thoughts.

I can only do what I can do... I forgive myself for mistakes past present and future... I believe these statements and yet, there's this part of me, "I should know, should have known, should know where to look or who to ask," perfectionist thoughts like that. But I'm far from perfect. And so there's part of the inner conflict that causes my anxiety.

TheSilentOne
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27 Nov 2017, 10:27 am

I've decided that I'm going to work on my crochet over winter break and maybe take a few more knitting and cake decorating classes. Hopefully this break will go by fast if I have stuff I like to do.

Also, my birthday is coming up!

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dragonsanddemons
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27 Nov 2017, 1:44 pm

Why does it feel so pleasing to watch myself bleed?

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Kuraudo7777
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27 Nov 2017, 1:49 pm

Psyche and A Match with Death.

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Raleigh
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27 Nov 2017, 2:03 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:

Why does it feel so pleasing to watch myself bleed?

Could it be a visual stim?
Like, I get pleasure from looking at hair and fur.

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dragonsanddemons
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27 Nov 2017, 2:08 pm

Raleigh wrote:

dragonsanddemons wrote:

Why does it feel so pleasing to watch myself bleed?

Could it be a visual stim?
Like, I get pleasure from looking at hair and fur.

I think that's part of it. But I don't get quite the same feeling from watching other people bleed or dripping red food coloring on my skin and watching it move down. Something about knowing it's my blood adds to it. The action of self-harming becomes a stim, too, I think.

Kuraudo7777
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27 Nov 2017, 2:10 pm

I would probably play Persona 3 if it wasn't quite so dark.

Oh, well. I'll probably buy the complete set of manga when all of the volumes are released over here; and the Persona 4 manga.

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Raleigh
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27 Nov 2017, 2:12 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:

Raleigh wrote:

dragonsanddemons wrote:

Why does it feel so pleasing to watch myself bleed?

Could it be a visual stim?
Like, I get pleasure from looking at hair and fur.

Maybe there is a control element in there too.
Does the coolness/warmth/sensation contribute to the pleasure, or is it mostly visual?

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dragonsanddemons
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27 Nov 2017, 2:21 pm

Raleigh wrote:

dragonsanddemons wrote:

Raleigh wrote:

dragonsanddemons wrote:

Why does it feel so pleasing to watch myself bleed?

Could it be a visual stim?
Like, I get pleasure from looking at hair and fur.

Maybe there is a control element in there too.
Does the coolness/warmth/sensation contribute to the pleasure, or is it mostly visual?

For the stimming aspect, I think it's mostly visual. I've seen it suggested to also try heating up some food coloring a little so it will be warm. You could very well be right about the control aspect, too - now that I think about it, that's probably why I don't mind sticking pins into myself but do mind getting vaccinations - because I'm not in control of the latter. When I'm doing it myself, I feel like I can stop at any time I want to.

jrjones9933
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27 Nov 2017, 2:24 pm

1+2+3+... = -1/12

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