What's on your mind right now?

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^ you get used to them and start to see that they don't really mean anything, they're only thoughts.

My therapist once told me that suicidal thoughts are nothing but your brain's attempt at problem solving.
If you can't see a way to solve your problems, it offers suicide as a possible solution, which you can choose to reject, like any other possibility.
It's really nothing to be scared of, just a natural process.

Blurry times while I wait for new lenses to be ground into shape. I forgot glasses lenses started as round polycarbonate blanks.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Doing all this damage to yourself isn't all that great, either.

All hell is breaking loose here at the condoplex. The election is next Tuesday. More slandering over the internet about Mary and her husband now. I had to send out an email and put them in their place. Mary said that Joe was even outside yelling at her. It's getting really bad around here. I'm afraid to go out to my car, but I have to go to work. That a-hole better not say anything to me or I will call the police. I

I also told everyone in the community about what is happening to our decks and how I am getting shut out of correspondence as a Board member not even being able to vote on any bids for my own building's decks - totally illegal. I told them the City is now involved and will be checking our decks on stability. SOB's!

I am being very foolish at the moment.

Wondering why I feel terrible right now.

Indigenous Psychology.

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I'm thinking about working as a bookkeeper for an insurance company's firm. I hope I didn't sound crazy when I wrote that.

I was so busy at Friday, I went to work at 6AM, and went home at 12 midnight.

So, when dealing with work instead of socializing and cold rooms in a retreat...
It'll take me 15+ hours worth of mental calculations on accounts of other people and urgent tasks, before I'll start being sluggish and things becoming more difficult to do.

Almost no different from the last time. Just minus good laughs from company and supposedly relaxing.

Then afterwards on the next day, our call time is 8AM. I barely had any sleep, and nearly got late no thanks to sleep. I'm starting to get slower by 2PM. The event ended at 3PM, so we clean things up and took some food home. We went home at 5PM.


How am I going to expand my 15+ hour limit?

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Trying to pick up where I left off after I had disappeared from WrongPlanet years back.

My online nemesis/fellow admin 'bit the hand' one time too many, today... I've now decapitated every single group privilege she previously had. Wanting her old role back for the sake of being a wallflower founder with all of the power and none of the effort, while I and the other hardworking admins slave to ensure everyone's art gets to the galleries? Now she'll have to subsist with the false-glory of being a wallflower co-founder, or she can leave!