What's the last weirdest dream you had?

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Thank you auntie

I had a dream that a m***et was trying to kill me. There was some kind of birthday party at my house and a m***et was hired to tell jokes, but then my brothers started booing him and he got mad. Then he started hurting me while I tried to say I have nothing against midgets.

What a weird nightmare.

ah yes, i awoke with a smile on my face. nice dreams are so rare. i thanked god for that dream, even if i hadn't a real clue as to what it meant.
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the strange thing is that i am positive that i had the first parts but it is as though my random access [working] memory is only large enough to remember one complete dream, and that the fractional parts of dreams are really separate dreams, in the manner of a tv episode one week is different from the next week's episode even if it is a cliffhanger.

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my guess is that the things in the dreams which are familiar, are things with an emotional component, as the emotional part of the brain is awake at night, whereas the intellectual part of the brain is recharging its batteries, so to speak. both my robe and my baby blanket are very emotional things in my life, for different reasons.

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i can only SWAG that i have always been drawn to the water, after a brief period as a small child when i was terrified of drowning. i believe that in a previous life i "drowned" in that i had emphesema and suffocated to death in my own mucus, so by extention i was afraid of the water [the uncontrolled immersion in which is the main thing that causes drowning] in the next [this most recent] life, and it took me until my adolescence to come to terms with that previous life. water is most soothing to me, and my dream was trying to comfort me for some unknown reason. the bed in front of the false wall, that was to entice me to take a nice little nap which i love to do IRL, even though i would have to entertain a dream which could surprise me- this most interesting part was in fact a dream within a dream, as i went through the false wall of consciousness/unconsciousness and entered another dream world of water slides and toys and wishes and mysterious things within the dream. it reminds me of when i was a kid and i would pour through the sears christmas catalog for hours on end, just wishing i could just jump into its pages and have as much fun as i wanted playing with all the different toys i wanted to. every child's dream.
the electronics part of it was based on my real-life love of electronic gizmos, and when i used to have a little $$$ i was always shopping for different electronic gizmos that did this unique thing or that. i would have to carry with me different cables and CDs with test signals and such to be properly equipped to evaluate said gizmos. the music school pitch testing was part of my junior high school music curriculum, where i learned perfect pitch. it was taught on the piano to any willing student. i taught myself.
the menacing middle-eastern man was based on a real-life brasshole i knew in the army, an arrogant army major nurse anaesthetist who thought his stuff didn't stink and could never stink, a total jerk.

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wow, that is heavy. when i was in college trying to study psychology/social work, i had a prof who thought that jung was crazy as a soup sandwich. mention "collective unconscious" and "archetypes" to this prof and you'd get hoots of derisive laughter. yes, he was a republican also. i did not similarly dismiss jung not because he was an easy-to-understand read or anything but just to be different from this prof. actually i found his writings to be inpenetreble. that's just because i am dense. but i do get some [a tiny bit] of what jung was saying. anyways, may you have much better luck than i did in school, at which i had absolutely no business stepping through the door.

The last dream I had wasn't that weird. The weirdest dream I've had probably wasn't that recent. So I presume I should plump for something in-between.

Well, I had a dream a few weeks ago that I was going to meet an acquaintance for dinner at some hotel near where I work. I turned up at the door, then realised my shirt was dirty. I turned back to go and get another shirt. I was walking down the street when I saw another acquaintance walking his dog. I tried to make conversation with him while we were walking along. Then he realised his dog was missing. Then I saw it scampering down some steps towards the subway. I ran after it. The people around us just stood and watched. I followed the dog deeper underground, and I could see him getting smaller and smaller, as if he was wearing himself out. Then I got to the bottom of the tunnel. The dog had disappeared, and all I could see were filing cabinets and papers scattered over the floor. My acquaintance came running after me. What could I tell him? Perhaps his dog had metamorphosed into some form of organic waste matter. I picked up a scrap of paper and told my acquaintance this was all that was left of his dog, and that I was sorry. He said it was ok, I did what I could, which was more than could be said for all the onlookers.

My dreams are more auditory than visual.

The last visual dream I remember is me encountering
figures from my past who I do not want to see anymore and/or I hope don't remember me.

Ironically, this dude works at the neighborhood grocery store,
who I thought had moved to the suburbs of Portland and stayed there
when he moved there around 1997.

Said guy somehow, I don't know why, moved back to Portland
to the same neighborhood where I am. He thinks he remembers me.

i was dealing with a civil servant, she was a latina with medium length black hair and slender build, dark eyes and a small mouth. i had to file some kind of military paperwork with her, so i must've been in the military in this dream. then in the next scene, i was in some kind of barracks/dormitory with a sunset-reddish-orange color scheme on the floors and walls, with 3 other guys huddled around a small monochrome tv set watching some kind of sports programming and going "HOO-AH! HOORAY! YIPPIE!" and the like. i was in bed trying to get some shut-eye for the next day's business, when all of a sudden i noticed a realdoll [realistic anatomically correct sex doll] was standing next to my bed and got in bed with me, and cuddled up against me. "she" had flaming red hair and an hourglass figure, and was wearing a crimson negligee with black trim, and she had a lovely sweet fragrance and i was so happy my heart could've burst right there and then. i rapidly fell asleep [in my dream] but no sooner than that was rudely awoken by an army staff sergeant wearing old-fashioned 60s-era fatigues, and the latina civil servant i saw earlier "that day" in the dream. the civil servant was carrying my completed and processed paperwork along with an official postage-metered government mailing envelope. the staff sergeant was also a latino- and his nametag, instead of a name, had on it some weird kind of binary code, "010110010." i was sleepy and i could barely register what he was telling me. he told me he wanted to make sure everything was alright before i signed all the paperwork and mailed it off. as soon as he said that the realdoll turned into a fish with the same redhaired woman's head, like in the movie "the little mermaid", then "swam" away into the mid-air. after this happened, it occured to me that the fan i usually turn on to block out the noise of my barracks/dorm mates was making so much noise that i couldn't hear what the sergeant was saying to me, so i tried to turn it off but it would not turn off, then i unplugged it from the wall but it was still blowing and roaring as before. so i reluctantly got out of the rack and told him i would have to meet with him outside the room, when i noticed that the area on the wall where there should be a door was fuzzed-out, almost like in a new car where on the dashboard there are these plastic blank seals where the expensive option you couldn't afford was supposed to be. it was a dark vertical rectangular spot on the wall but with no doorhandle to open it. just then i was about to start cursing out that damned infernal noisy fan, saying "that no-good piece of--" but was censored mentally by the latina civil servant, and this made me very angry, at which point the sergeant, at this point sitting down with the other fellas and watching the sports game on the tv set, noticed my frustration and started laughing his guts out at me. then i awoke.

I dreamt I started karate again, and was trying to prove myself to the instructor... I was worried I'd forgotten everything, so was going through my katas. He wasn't very interested, the other two students (a man and a woman) were. We were on some kind of airship that had escaped from Japan after a third world war, so why I was bothered about karate when the world was falling to pieces I don't know.

Anyway, eventually the instructor agreed to teach me, and we were fighting, when he swept my foot from under me and I landed flat on my back. And this is where it's disgusting. He leant over me and puked on me.

That's put me off taking karate up again!

i was awake at roughly 4:30 in the morning [in the dream] sitting in the kitchen of an old house my [late] parents used to live in several decades back, and suddenly i got the urge, before i was supposed to go to work, to instead drive out in the night to some distant mysterious city i might have visited before, in a sort-of deja vu manner. i drove and drove and finally arrived at a city that was in day-glow colors, and the night sky was illuminated as though by several moons but there no moons visible. it was still night even though my watch said 5:30AM. the streets were damp and slippery, and it was a very hilly city, all but deserted except for the occasional car parked on the street. i walked up to some kind of professional office and residence, wandered around inside, and found a place that was furnished in 70s-era decor, with orange shag carpeting and wooden wall paneling, and swag lamps. but nobody was there, not a soul, except perhaps behind a closed door that looked like it might've been a bedroom, but i didn't dare open it to see if anybody was in there. it might've been locked for all i know, even though all the other doors were open and unlocked. i suddenly got the feeling that some sort of alarm system had been activated by my presense, as i started to hear voices and 2-way radio chatter for the first time, so i hurriedly left the place and walked through a landscaped garden area pathway past a parking lot, then down a steep hill where i saw another city parking lot, surrounded by a chain-link fence that i somehow walked through- with some kind of work taking place inside it- a large panel truck that was having its sparking driveshaft removed for some unknown reason by a work crew in another large truck on the street, via a long cable with workers stationed along the length of the cable. it was noisy and the workers were shouting things at one another. i walked past them all unnoticed, and then walked into a hospital parking lot and reception area where i was greeted by a long-retired and gone nurse i had known in real life a decade back- but here she looked young, sexy and babe-ish in a "cougar" sort of way. she asked me if i was here looking for a job, and i said, "maybe i sorta am." she then led me to the worker's application area in the business office, where there was a female secretary on the right working on a computer and a male functionary of some sort who gave me a basket of clothes and mentally told me to sort through them and tell him if i recognized them or not, so i was combing through the basket and noticed to my slight alarm that they belonged to my late father. as soon as the man found this out, he mentally told me that i had some account i had to update and pay-off, and he handed me a humongous bill of 7 figures, that so shocked me that i fainted dead away.

until this point i had been watching myself in the dream as though i were an actor in a play, but when i awoke from the fainting spell [in the dream] my persective was in my body, on the floor behind the receptionist's station in a large empty room with vomit-colored walls and short-napped vomit-colored carpeting, and i was naked except for my underwear. i was in a daze, when through a doorway came a bulky ugly man who looked like a cross between dick cheney and the actor david huddleston, and he was wearing a vomit-colored t-shirt and navy dungarees with work boots, and his right arm was wielding a sledgehammer with a maul-splitting end and a truncated handle, and he pointed it at me and told me "you WILL tell me EXACTLY what i wanna know and EVERYTHING you know! HUH?" and i weakly replied, "y-yessir!" i was in abject fear at this point, when i noticed that to my right on the floor was a pile of my personal effects including floppy discs with secret information about my drug stash [again, just in the dream!] and financial holdings including secret accounts, and information about informants. the ugly man was combing through these things when suddenly he rudely thrust at me some weird multicolored fiber-optic super-technological dental implant thingies that i was made to understand that i had to shove up behind my upper front teeth up into my sinuses. so i went to a mirror and was trying to figure out how to do just that when all of a sudden a tearing burning sharp pain wracked me into screaming sobs, as the ugly guy was rudely tearing the flesh of my right ankle while inserting some kind of metal probe device, then he took the flat end of his sledge hammer and pounded the probe into place, leaving my foot a pulpy bloody mess, then he glared at me and said, "you're just a god-damned coward. disgusting." then i awoke from the dream in a sweaty hot state of agitation, and with my right ankle feeling as though damage had been done to it for several minutes until i totally awoke.

I had a weird dream last night, and this is what I remember of it.
I was with a friend of a friend I used to go primary school with, in the dream we were the best of friends and were really close (lets call her A). And on one occasion she was in my house and I got a letter saying I was going to hogwarts, so I was like "cool!" and got a broom stick and took it outside to see if I could fly on it. I was able to lift myself off the ground quite high and decided to practice on the broomstick ready for when I go to hogwarts and I could show of my skills, even though I knew I wasn't allowed to. And I then saw the scientist Carl Sagan in my back garden but he didn't see me fly, when I told him we wouldn't believe me and gave me some scientific explanation as to why it is against the laws of physics to fly on a broomstick. But I was like "no wait! just watch ths!" and at first the broomstick was reluctant to fly but I eventually had lift off and flew about a bit and then Carl Sagan was like "woah" and said something about how all the laws of physics have to be rewritten and stuff like that. The friend I was talking about, A, was also going to hogwarts and we were both excited about going.
Next part I remember was I was in a long queue with a load of girls on some big field at the school, and most were older than me and A and me and A were about 13-ish in the dream. And me and A were being really affectionate for some reason and on about what such good friends we are, but in this weird way that you wouldn't see in real life. I couldn't describe it, but we were saying weird things and hugging a lot, that's all I can recall. And then we were about to have our first broomstick lesson, and I ran right to the front to show everyone what I already knew.
Then a bunch of stuff happened I can't remember...
Next part I was by a big bush with A and some other girls, and me and A were planning an escape so I could go home for a visit and go back later. So we climbed over a really tall hedge and A said summat about STDs (wtf). And we ran to my house, but people were looking for us so I hid in my house with A.
the end

I dreamed that Jackie Chan and a blue white and red robot were having a fight, and the robot knocked Jackie out, and when he woke up, he put on a silver suit of armour and became a robot as well.

Dont know?

I dreamed I met a certain WP member here who was trying to convert me to some strange cult called moonism...

12 years ago, in the winter, I had a dream that I felt something on top of me, and it was Austin Powers, shagging me.

gosh, that is classic i like your style.
jackie chan came to america [the red white and blue in your dream] for fame and fortune over his screen fighting skills. the artistic critic in your dream was observing that jackie chan sold out to american mercenary artistic values for the money, hence his putting on the silver [IOW money] armored robot suit as well. just my 2-cents' worth.

i dreamt that i was somewhere on a military base, in a section where the military members lived when off-duty, and i looked down a street and saw a large "house-bus" motor home that was made not of aluminum or fiberglass [like a regular real-life motor home] but out of wood, almost like a houseboat in construction. in the dream i envisioned myself driving down the road in this particular motorhome and for a few seconds i suddenly was doing just that. then all of a sudden i was a pedestrian out on the street again and i jumped into a convertible sports car and rushed up to catch a bus that was about to open the door and take in passengers but my sports car was just a tad too late to catch the bus, and it took off much to my consternation. then i found myself a pedestrian again and to my left some elderly ladies who got off the bus looked at me like i was quite strange. but i got on a rickety 3-wheeled tricycle contraption and pedaled off after the bus in a vain attempt at catching up with it, only to abort this pursuit and instead take a side-road shortcut to get to someplace which might have been work. i drove over a road which turned into a dirt path littered with construction debris and leftover snow from a recent snowstorm. the dirt road got nastier and the trike got more dilapidated and the left front wheel assembly was starting to get warped and caddywampus. then i found myself walking again inside a building where there was interrupted construction work on a partition in the middle of the room, and on top of the pile of building materials were construction workers' lunch buckets, newspapers and a conspicuous silver money clip with several thousand dollars in it, that i glanced at uneasily, before i made my way to the time clock which i was going to punch-in to work but i was interrupted by some bullyboy of a lead construction worker and union boss who had seen me glancing at the worker's effects, and said to me, "hey clown, i saw you this morning in your joe cool sunglasses. so just report in to work and then go home, you're through here!" he seemed angry at me for having glanced at the workers' stuff. then i awoke.

Wow, Auntie, that is an awesome interpretation! I will tell you all my dreams from now on