The corrupted wish game

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You now have a million cooks and a 12-inch model of the planet Venus.

I wish there wasn't a terrorist plotting to blow up my bookcase.

granted! but, now there's a leprachuan also plotting to blow up your bookcase.

i wish knew every word in the world.

You now know all the dirty ones and your mother washes your mouth out with soap.

I wish I would win Ms. America.

Granted!! Your prize?? A copy of the album: Hellen Ready, The Las Vegas Years

I wish I was a chick magnet.

Edit: should'nt have posted a real wish, my bad

granted... but now all the roosters hate you

i wish i had some candy

Granted, but it tastes of dog food.

I wish everything was free.

Granted, but everything would be gone, when you got to it.

I wish to be the Richest Hippie in Canada.

granted... oops... granted but you loose it all gambling
i wish i could meet an alien

granted, but you say something to offend him and he obliterates you

i wish i could fly

Granted!! You just don't know how to land!! !

I wish I could hold my breath forever without passing out.

Granted, you are now a balloon.

I wish TheMachine1 wasn't the Anticontradischrist.

Granted, he is now a fry cook in Atlanta.

I wish I had another can of Mountain Dew.

Granted, but the can's made from Mountain Dew too, so it falls all over your pants!

We had something similar to this on the GameFAQs boards. Nice to see it's been transcribed over here. And we have all this creative talent to use!

I wish that for one day, just ONE day, I could say 'hi' to a girl and not feel like exploding.

Granted!! When you say "HI" to her, she throws a cup of hot coffe in your face!!

I wish that computers were'nt so entertaining.

Granted, you'll feel like puking.

I wish I could explain how that blood got all over my clothes.

Sorry, I seem to have some kind of internal regurgitation going on. ...uh, wish granted?

I wish the world was a giant spherical trampoline!