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The CIA once attempted to assassinate Fidel Castro using a killer Furby.

Passing magnets over dry cereal, any cereal, will alter the molecular structure of the grains and convert the carbohydrates into something with the taste of lobster. Lobster, without the need for a bib. However, there was no nutritional benefits.

You've just described my supper.

maga does not want to do away with the rest of us.

I'm the happiest person in the world.

I don't miss any past WP members.

I really loved myself back in 1994.

My attitude smelled roses in 1994.

My attitude smells like roses right now.

My roses have an attitude.

I understand myself

"if you work hard you can be anything you want to be when you grow up"

________________________

"You can do anything you set your mind to"

The reason why I am just a lot attendant is not because I didn't set my mind to anything. And it's also not because I set my mind to being a lot attendant

The reason why I am just a lot attendant is "you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear"


Plenty of factors determine the outcome, not just effort:

Efficiency
Health
Longevity
Economics
Discrimination
Personality


To say "you can do anything you set your mind to", implies that if you fail it's always your fault for inadequate effort. That is not correct

I'm the life and soul of every party I go to - in a good way!

Back in the 1960s, there was an secret faction of the population that could shape shift into monsters. They were children. They roamed the streets at night. They climbed trees, and transformed into whatever they actually were. In the trees they quietly sat, waiting for adults to pass by. The adults could not see them. They harmed no one. They were quiet, although sometimes they would let out a low quiet growl. In 1969, the shape shifting children disappeared. That's what I was told, at least. No one knows why. Not many believe it happened. Perhaps it never happened. Perhaps when you out your window, there is a pair of eyes quietly looking back from a tree.

I found my autism in a fortune cookie.

(Truth: That's almost as ridiculous as saying I got it from vaccines or Tylenol)

The robot lawnmower was busy trimming our yard but I made two mistakes:
1. I didn't keep an eye on it.
2. I left the backdoor unlatched.

We used to have wall-to-wall carpet...which looked much better than what we have now!