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cathylynn
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03 Mar 2018, 9:48 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
I'm very ready to get a job - I really wish my therapy stuff wasn't preventing me from doing so at the moment. I'm tired of feeling useless and parasitic - I want to be doing something and earning money.

you didn't ask to have a disability. some folks are lucky. some folks less so. not your fault. if you can work -great. if not, contribute via volunteer work, on WP as you do, or by being loving toward those around you -also great.



dragonsanddemons
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03 Mar 2018, 10:01 pm

cathylynn wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
I'm very ready to get a job - I really wish my therapy stuff wasn't preventing me from doing so at the moment. I'm tired of feeling useless and parasitic - I want to be doing something and earning money.

you didn't ask to have a disability. some folks are lucky. some folks less so. not your fault. if you can work -great. if not, contribute via volunteer work, on WP as you do, or by being loving toward those around you -also great.


The thing is, I feel like I could work, if I could get hired and had the time (which is less of an issue because this therapy thing that takes up a good part of my day every weekday is only temporary).


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


cathylynn
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04 Mar 2018, 12:00 am

dragonsanddemons wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
I'm very ready to get a job - I really wish my therapy stuff wasn't preventing me from doing so at the moment. I'm tired of feeling useless and parasitic - I want to be doing something and earning money.

you didn't ask to have a disability. some folks are lucky. some folks less so. not your fault. if you can work -great. if not, contribute via volunteer work, on WP as you do, or by being loving toward those around you -also great.


The thing is, I feel like I could work, if I could get hired and had the time (which is less of an issue because this therapy thing that takes up a good part of my day every weekday is only temporary).


do they have peer specialists in your state? in that job, having a mental illness is a requirement. it's how i broke back into the workforce after a long period with no job. volunteer work and a paper route qualified me for the position. school also would have qualified me. anything to show responsibility and recovery.



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04 Mar 2018, 1:19 am

Duality.


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04 Mar 2018, 3:49 am

Raleigh wrote:
Duality.

Image


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04 Mar 2018, 6:33 am

Dysphoria.


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04 Mar 2018, 3:35 pm

The Mandela Effect.


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04 Mar 2018, 3:41 pm

The goddamn exams coming up.



dragonsanddemons
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04 Mar 2018, 7:41 pm

cathylynn wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
I'm very ready to get a job - I really wish my therapy stuff wasn't preventing me from doing so at the moment. I'm tired of feeling useless and parasitic - I want to be doing something and earning money.

you didn't ask to have a disability. some folks are lucky. some folks less so. not your fault. if you can work -great. if not, contribute via volunteer work, on WP as you do, or by being loving toward those around you -also great.


The thing is, I feel like I could work, if I could get hired and had the time (which is less of an issue because this therapy thing that takes up a good part of my day every weekday is only temporary).


do they have peer specialists in your state? in that job, having a mental illness is a requirement. it's how i broke back into the workforce after a long period with no job. volunteer work and a paper route qualified me for the position. school also would have qualified me. anything to show responsibility and recovery.


I wish I could do that kind of thing, but I don't think it's possible for me, at least not for a very long time. I don't even know how to help myself, let alone other people in different situations than me. I have to be in exactly the right mood/mindset to even be able to offer words of support, and it takes a good half hour or so for me to come up with the words and make sure I'm not messing anything up - I would probably be too nervous/overwhelmed to say anything at all when talking to someone in person. And as it stands, I'm still not doing very well myself. Thank you for the suggestion, though - it sounds like a great thing to do if I'm ever able.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


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04 Mar 2018, 7:44 pm

i have to do some outpatient treatment for a dui in 2015 i sit in a group with 8 people i havent gone to my first class but im scared crapless



dragonsanddemons
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04 Mar 2018, 7:47 pm

I really wish I could discuss things related to having the soul of a dragon in my therapy stuff without having to explain exactly why I think I have the soul of a dragon - it's such an ingrained part of my identity that I don't even know where to begin, like asking someone else what non-physical things make them believe they're human. But I know that's going to be the first thing anyone says to me if I mention it, and even if I can explain, they'll probably just think I'm delusional anyway :(


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


Last edited by dragonsanddemons on 04 Mar 2018, 7:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

xxZeromancerlovexx
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04 Mar 2018, 7:48 pm

I'm still recovering from what happened earlier today. Panic attacks are not temper tantrums or being a brat. Anyone who says otherwise has probably never had a real panic attack or maybe they have, they just don't have them four times more or less a week.


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04 Mar 2018, 7:56 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
I really wish I could discuss things related to having the soul of a dragon in my therapy stuff without having to explain exactly why I think I have the soul of a dragon - it's such an ingrained part of my identity that I don't even know where to begin, like asking someone else what non-physical things make them believe they're human. But I know that's going to be the first thing anyone says to me if I mention it, and even if I can explain, they'll probably just think I'm delusional anyway :(


If you lived in a different culture you would probably be considered quite traditional and spiritual. What more western cultures find delusional others can respect. When I talked about having a dragon and child who lived contently inside me, within a group of trainee counsellors, it was almost accepted but taken as metaphor. I became quite annoyed if anyone tried to change my wording. I used it as an example of how we can experience different parts of our 'self'.

I enjoy hearing about your Dragon :heart:



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04 Mar 2018, 7:59 pm

Kuraudo7777 wrote:
The Mandela Effect.


did you watch the X-files episode called "Mandela Effect" by any chance ?


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04 Mar 2018, 8:25 pm

.. I woke up with a somewhat screwed sense of balance. This isn't like every morning wake-ups when most of my senses are more or less disarrayed and less tolerant to take things.
I feel the world literally move as if I'm standing on a moving vehicle. 8O It's not very fast nor it felt inconsistent with 'speed', but enough to make me lean constantly to the right.

Not my head or my stomach -- I don't feel dizzy or nauseous. I don't feel weak either. And I don't feel like there's a button in my head that remained stuck that made me lean/fall right.
Yet that doesn't mean I'd discount the possibility that it had something to do with my nervous/digestive/circulatory system...

My vestibular and proprioception senses are intact. If it weren't, I wouldn't able to catch myself and bump onto something at least once -- I haven't.

But I feel like being pulled by a giant clockwise like direction momentum this entire morning.

Edit: Counter clockwise. I hate words. :x
Edit2: Screw whatever I'm noticing in this. I HATE words.

It's been over 3 hours. I wonder who else experienced this?


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Last edited by Edna3362 on 04 Mar 2018, 8:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Kuraudo7777
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04 Mar 2018, 8:28 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
Kuraudo7777 wrote:
The Mandela Effect.


did you watch the X-files episode called "Mandela Effect" by any chance ?


No, I've only watched one episode of the X-Files, and that was the pilot.


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