The corrupted wish game

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Granted, you now live in an MC Escher painting.

I wish I hadn't shot that police officer just to watch him die.

Granted, now you're going to jail. You shouldn't of let him live.

I wish I had x-ray vision

There's a mix-up at the post office and you get Triple X-ray vision, the ability to see right through the plot holes in adult films.

I wish I could get some cheap gas.

Granted, but it combusts with your breath. You just breathed on the gas pump. (BAOOOM!! ! )

I wish the New Zealand population wasn't outnumbered by sheep 15:1.

granted, here's a lifetime supply of beans...eat up.

i wish all of my dreams for the future could be real.

You dream about Walker, Texas Ranger.

I wish I didn't spontaneously combust.

noooo!! !! !! !! !! !! !

you spontaneously generate.

i wish walker,texas ranger could go somewhere far away and never come back. possibly neverland...

Granted! Instead you get turned into "Kenny" wearing a red (original Star Trek) Uniform!!

I wish I had something else to do!

He goes to your house, from which he will never return. He becomes your new Dad.

I wish I could do karate like Chuck Norris.

Scrapheap is assigned to clean up an oil spill.

Granted!! But you get in a fight with Chuck Lidell and he kicks your butt!!

I wish I could fight like Tim Sylvia (UFC Heavyweight Champ)

You fight like him, but he comes and beats the crap out of you for stealing his moves. Or there could be a mixup at the post office and you fight like Sylvia Plath.

I wish I had some cake.

Granted, but it turns out to be a cupcake (bomb)

Granted, the sheep are deported, but the lonely farmors follow them. New Zealand has to pay to import food, and its economy collapses.

I wish some of those sheep were wearing lipstick.

Granted, but then they all come over to your house. Pucker up!

I wish the characters in my story were real.

Granted, your characters consider you thier god and they follow you everywhere, even to the bathroom


I wish I could take a year long holiday

Granted, but the holiday is to...


...Iraq

I wish I had a Superweapon that, instead of killing people, would turn them into farm animals.