Quotes, quotes, quotes!

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"Losing feels worse than winning feels good." - Vin Scully

“The state is that great fiction by which everyone tries to live at the expense of everyone else.”
Frédéric Bastiat

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

"Nothing try, nothing done." Jamaican credo

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice.
-Deng Xiaoping

"The extinction of the human race will come from its inability to EMOTIONALLY comprehend the exponential function." -- Edward Teller

“Most of the harm in the world is done by good people, and not by accident, lapse, or omission. It is the result of their deliberate actions, long persevered in, which they hold to be motivated by high ideals toward virtuous ends.”
― Isabel Paterson

"About the only problem with success is that it does not teach you how to deal with failure." - Tommy Lasorda

Psychiatrist: What is your relationship with Lister?
Kryten: I love Mr. Lister sir. He taught me everything. Without him, I'd probably be normal.

No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow.
-Euripides

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up. - Ogden Nash

Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.
-Bil Keane

some people mistake a short memory for a clean conscience. [gary Larson]

Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.
-Joyce Brothers

"Anyone who takes the time to be kind is beautiful." -Richelle E. Goodrich

College Days

Don't send my son to Shippensburg, the dying mother said.
Don't send my boy to Bloomsburg, I'd rather see him dead.
He'll go to Indiana, where he will learn to spell,
and rather far than Slippery Rock, I would see my boy in
The evening by the moonlight, you can hear that jukebox ringing.
In the evening by the moonlight, you could hear those co-eds singing...

Oh, sing a song of colleges, and tell me where to go?
Loch Haven for her musclemen, or Mansfield, where it snows,
to Clarion for Football, but which is right for me?
The one who holds her standards high,
the best, dear Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP)

(believe me, the last stanza is a riot when performed with the appropriate body language)