What's on your mind right now?

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must be a guy thing, then.

I'm not a guy

I forgive people in my mind but my body carries tension and doesn't let go

Words play over in my mind years after they're harshly spoken to me. I still clench up at things my mum said to me 2 and a half years ago. There are nights that I need music quietly playing in the background in order to sleep. Sometimes I hear things that were said to me when I was 10 or younger. I haven't told anybody. I don't think parents realize what they do to their autistic children sometimes. I closed my eyes last night and visioned a teenage girl running into the spare bedroom screaming, "Mum's going to beat me with a stick because I'm crying and howling, bent over like an animal!"

I'm sorry you're dealing with those feelings. They're very common for people with autism but, of course, that fact doesn't make it easier to endure, nor does it make your hurt feelings mend overnight. I'm the same way. I ruminate about everything and it's getting out of hand.

It's almost time to get up and I'n not even asleep yet.

Have a good day
Isabella

Feel invisible and left out and lonely and etc cetera

This is "As Good As it Gets".

What do you expect?

San Diego was so homophobic

Nobody is going to hire, befriend, or marry me

If they do, then fired and annulment and ghosted soon thereafter

The current counselor told me that the professional treatment for personality disorders is dialectical behavioral therapy

That costs 100 bucks an hour

And I am 35, not seven

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks"

Yes you can but learning takes more energy for less product when you are older

According to neuroscience




Precious lil "people's " favorite words



Friend
Ok
Huh
What
Sorry
How are you doing?
Do you have a question
Are you ok
Good
Cool
Sucks
Need
Why
Like
the speaker refers to himself or herself as "people".
Should
Right (correct, entitled)
Deserve
May I help you
Where were you born
Are you a boy or girl
Why are you smiling



Granted I crave friendships but that is not happening

Precious lil "people" act like they are wise, cool, smart, awesome, innocent, entitled


The problem is their attitude

They make vague and misleading statements

That are not factually correct

They attempt to take way too much authority

My glasses are being a pain in the butt today.

wondering where it all went wrong and hopefully, I'm not looked down upon with contempt

I just realized something.

Peanuts are not nuts. They are beans/legumes.

Americans put peanut butter on toast.

Therefore, Americans have been consuming British cuisine this whole time.

Thinking of whether to actually work on my blank and empty YouTube channel

Today is a day to relax.

Last week my mom was telling me about a play she and my dad went to. It was "The Happy Prince", a story by Oscar Wilde. My dad had there was something familiar about the play but he couldn't put his finger on it. But my mom remembered that there was a cartoon TV special that used air at Christmas when my brother and I were little kids. My mom didn't really want us watching it at first because the ending is kind of sad. The little swallow in it dies and the prince statue is stripped of his beauty and gets melted down (but they both go to heaven and live in eternal bliss due to the sacrifices they made to help people who were poor and suffering). It's kind of weird that they always showed it at Christmas since it really didn't much of anything to do with Christmas, except for its "spirit of giving" message and the spiritual ending.

sometimes it appears that I am nothing besides a public nuisance

And I ain't got nothing to contribute to the solar system

Positively

Not enough to justify the carbon footprint

A long time ago, someone should have done the community service of exterminating my worthless corpse

And gotten Nobel Prize

And a dollar for dollar tax deduction, for the amount of the retail value of the carbon footprint saved

Discount, coupon, sale





Frustrated with self

Going nowhere




Nothing to do in "life,"


Nothing to look forward to

Just counseling




Breakdancing

Autistic meltdown

Blind

Confusion

Canary

Metamorphosis

Coccoon

Bad at coping with change


Sooner or later, change happens


Slouch

Flexible


Wide variety of interests and skills

Regret

Remorse

Catastrophe


Pain receptor

Expectation

Riffraff

Think outside the box

Folic acid


Bias

Slanted

Loyalty to the instructor

What would the country be like under a different president

Astronomy

Trauma

save face


Financial reparations


Apologies

Specific performance


Statue of limitations

Love


Psoas muscle

Search and rescue volunteer

Celebrate

Mourn

Loitering

When Americans eat beans with cut-up hot dogs in them, they usually call it franks and beans, but in Canada we usually call it beans and wieners. I don't know why, but we just do.

A sleepy kitty in the sun.