Post a random truth (about yourself)

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Yeah but at least you would have something to scratch

Yes but then you rip holes in yourself because scratching doesn't stop the itching.

My itching is a bit like that. If I scratch it, it just gets worse and I end up all blotchy. Lucky for me there are other ways of fixing it that don't do any harm, like a good brush and menthol, and Deep Heat Cream as the doomsday weapon.

Yeah a good brush
That's what I use on my back

Oh man it's so flipping good

You don't get any whistles and bells with me

I think I like being on wheels

I'm never bothered about food when I've been playing out

Not even if I get hungry

I do actually congratulate myself for doing the most simplest things

I'm never impressed by these home makeover shows me

I can think of very little I'd like less than to have people on my property deciding how it should look

It's bad enough when the council come barging in with new bloody kitchens and bathrooms

I'm more than content with what I already have thank you very much

Yes, I agree. I hate having people messing around in my space. Turned down a new kitchen and bathroom in my last flat as I didn't need the hassle.

Yeah and they tell you they'll only be in for a week and they're still there 4 weeks later

And they always send bloody cowboys as well

You should see some of the botch jobs they've done around these flats

And West Lancs council had the nerve to ask me to pay for a new toilet when there was nothing wrong with the old one when I moved out. Fortunately Wigan council are a bit more chilled out.

When I moved in here the housing ripped all the laminate flooring out

Yes, that really winds me up when councils say you need to rip out all the carpets which will end up in landfill and then the next tenant with have to spend hundreds on new flooring.

I couldn't even afford a new carpet when I moved in

Then when I did get one we couldn't get it up the stairs
we ended up pushing it through window in the end

All the neighbours were out for that one

My place has got dog-leg stairs so you can't get anything big up them. Trouble is there's a lot of things that are borderline and nobody knows if they'll go upstairs or not without trying it. I hate theoretical 3-dimensional problems. My brain only works properly in 2-D.

Yeah well my living room is 8 metres long and I'm up on the second floor with no lifts and the stairs are like curly wurly ones so the carpet was too big and it wouldn't bend

I'd get it in two pieces in the future

We had to feed it through the window on the first floor stairs where they bend to get it in

It's kind of a hazy memory now but I'm sure that's how we did it

Then I had to bloody put the thing down

Never again that's all I can say