23 Jan 2019, 8:48 pm
cecilfienkelstien
Veteran
Joined: 10 May 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,922
Location: Ontario Canada
24 Jan 2019, 8:53 am
24 Jan 2019, 9:49 am
24 Jan 2019, 2:05 pm
24 Jan 2019, 3:23 pm
I got a new television for Christmas but the picture has been terrible, and causing me a lot of stress. I don't watch a lot of television but it was distressing because I thought it had been a waste of money, or it was defective. I've been fiddling with the connections every day for a month. Today I finally fixed the problem and I have a bright, beautiful screen.
Now, if only there were something to watch.
graceksjp
Veteran
Joined: 17 Aug 2018
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,719
Location: Down the rabbit hole
24 Jan 2019, 5:09 pm
24 Jan 2019, 6:04 pm
24 Jan 2019, 8:33 pm
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 115,227
Location: the island of defective toy santas
24 Jan 2019, 8:43 pm
won auction for a Suzuki q-chord 
24 Jan 2019, 8:55 pm
Excellent!
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 115,227
Location: the island of defective toy santas
24 Jan 2019, 9:08 pm
Excellent!
they are a fun little doohickey designed expressly for people with no musical training, one just needs a musical ear to make sense of it, is all. the frustrating thing is that because it is in such high demand, that a bunch of stoooopids on the auction site consistently bid 'em to crazy levels, even as much or more than they cost new.
too many people on ebay care only about winning over the other slobs and not even are interested in finding a bargain...end of rant
24 Jan 2019, 11:36 pm
He was a schoolmates dad when I went to UCSD.
He appeared nice and normal.
He did me personal favors:. Driving, tutoring, talking, job advise,
Until I told him I want to be a boy not girl
He had the nerve to "refuse to call you by your boys name". He told me that it was "lying" for me to ask him to call me "he" instead of "she".
He told me "you don't care about anyone except yourself!"
The lil f****r was barking out of control at me, like he wanted to kill me.
San Diego 2006
Anyways before that I was reluctant to trust anyone. But he appeared trustworthy. In that he was a civil engineer, had family and friends. All that stupid BS
Equal employment opportunity commission 2012, gender identity
San Diego was (is) so homophobic
Plenty of superficial materialistic homophobic simpleton ass holes made fun of me for crossdressing
When it turned out that they were homophobic, not a single one of them could be bothered to write me a letter of apology
f**k those ass holes
Because of mister redelings, I don't and can't trust anyone anymore
2019, five hundred miles away
The former counselor told me "mister redelings hrrt you pretty badly"
So I told the former counselor, at least he didn't exterminate me. If he were to have done so, she would have gotten 75 times 62 fewer bucks.
All he did was bark at me
It was because now I know that I do not have the skill to determine whom to trust. Some people might be trustworthy, but it is much better to avoid all the right and wrong people, than interact with both right and wrong people
The city that I live in is much less homophobic than San Diego
Today what made me happy:
Weather
Bus
Aikido
Lake
A restaurant named Burger IM, where I took a bowel movement for the first time.
I agree - better to trust nobody than expose urself to being betrayed n hurt all over again
I know why u feel likw that- bcuz u trusted him with such a deep part of your life, hoping he wd accept n understand, and he went ballistic.
That is exactly how i feel about my ex lawyer. That is what happened where i told him every detail n trusted him (n the law clerk) and he went ballistic , fr what wasnt even my fault (XH was. Playing mind games) n my lawyer started telling me ‘u will never achieve anything! What have u achieved?? Nothing! Nothing? ‘ etc
Then later i found he had actually lied to n misled me and not intervened despite knowing how XH was using his advice against me.
It was a big betrayal.
I will also like you probably not get over it fr years to come
So I get it.
At least u have the willpower to believe in urself and keep being grateful for other things.
I have to tell u-
I posted smthing that cd be construed as lgbt-phobic on WP addicts thread.
I said i was seeing my ex Lawyers name everywhere. It was bringing back all the bad memories.
Then i wrote tgat my brother said my lawyer was hopefully saving up fr gender surgery so his name wd change
(but it was not about tye gender change-
rather it was that his name is Everywhere as it is so common. It is Kevin - which is a name i see everywhere.
If he changed his name then i wd no longer have to associate that name with him n relive it all)
I’m letting u know in case u ever come upon it I don’t want u to misconstrue the reason i said that n get hurt all over again.
Anyway stay strong
25 Jan 2019, 12:02 am
I was really stuck on a puzzle in a game, and found a video that guided me through it. Now I can finally proceed with the game!
25 Jan 2019, 12:07 am
Blooiejagwa
Your situation with the lawyer was different from mister redelings, in that you paid the lawyer. Thus the interaction was less unequal than my interaction with mister redelings.
This far I have not read your post on WP Addicts thread and I am not going to go looking for it
Sex reassignment surgery costs about 100 000 bucks. The vast majority of trans, do not get it. Too expensive, do not want, medical side effect
In United States, anyone over 18 can legally changed name to almost anything.
When I did, (San Diego 2006), 500 bucks.
Cisgender people can change names
Even if the lawyer got a name change, you might not find out about it
When I got mine, I had to publish it in a newspaper one month
So unless you read all the newspapers carefully, you are not going to find the announcement for the name change
So, every time you see "Kevin", you will think about the lawyer, even if he does change his name to. The women's name. "Charlotte"
Your lawyer does not know if you will accomplish anything because he is not precognitive. It does not matter to your lawyer if you accomplish anything.
Accomplishing a lot of things is not a moral quality
Some people find it harder to accomplish anything because of 
racism, sexism, homophobic, fatophobia, classism, health. Some people have legal problems that prevents them from accomplishment. Executive processing dysfunction. Learning disability. No $$. Mental or physical illness. Getting sent to jail.
Not all accomplishment are equally justified.
The Holocaust is Hitler's accomplishment. It was impressive and meaningful and had purpose
Does not mean it was good
I am not "strong" in any way
Physically I can't do a single pushup
Sleep over eight hour a day
Emotionally fragile
Lethargic
Brain too foggy to do jack s**t productive
Nor do I believe in myself
After structural engineering, I feel like I could never believe in myself again
f**k mister redelings
Instead of obsessing over San Diego 2006, think about here and now . Maslow's hierarchy
Dissociated
s**t I am never going to accomplish anything in my "life"
Not alert enough to do anything difficult in any way
Got canned, expelled, evicted, dumped
Exhausted almost all of the options
Fatigued all day long
Suspect fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome
A lot of diseases have fatigue as a symptom
Sometimes it is hard to even sit up instead of lie down.
And I have been gorging emotional overeating way too much.
No stupidass friends
Precious lil "people" act way too f*****g judgmental, entitled, arrogant, self important
f**k those ass holes.
25 Jan 2019, 12:19 am
25 Jan 2019, 1:03 am
The Hitler point was correct, but not necessary. Words like "help" and "care" sound good. Connotation versus denotation. But Mussolini was helping the Gestapo. "Care" means "to attend to". Does not specify outcome, legality, morality, intention. "Important" could be good or bad. Trump is important.
Actions, statement, thought, emotions have to be balanced
I think too much
The counselors talk too much and do not think (enough) before hand
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"
Words can and do hurt, but
Words can't usually help. Sometimes talking is the only or best method to do something. Building rapport is good too
But cold f**k. The former counselor Jeanne told me that she earned 75 bucks an hour flapping her trap
And she did not even tell me a single original statement
"Actions speak louder than words"
Thinking the way I do is only good for professional writers or philosophers. There could be exception, but accounting clerk is not an exception. And there are only a few exceptions
Usually it is better to think the same way "most people" think, even though it is flawed and wrong.
Critical thinking skills do not a Nobel prize get
Same thing, I put mister redelings on a pedestal, so I was not expecting he was homophobic because I thought he was perfect
Too tired to accomplish anything significant. Just hanging out
Brain on "off" mode. Can barely pay attention. Dissociated. Not alert.
Constantly obsessed with:
Depression
Autism
Homophobia
Mister redelings
$$
Structural engineering
Aikido
Fat
Social rejection
Mister redelings did not invent homophobia
So what he was homophobic?
Some people are more homophobic than him. They kill and rape lgbt. They say "fa***t,". Mister redelings just judged my character and barked at me. Verbally. That is still legal
He was correct in that I was the one that called him
And I should have just hung up
But whatever
People tell at people all the time. He did not kill me.
He could have shot me with a gun.
That would have been worse for me
While the best response would have been for him to call me "he" instead of "She".
Whooptie do
In all situation, the best thing that could happen is that both parties go holding hands skipping off into the sunset
The worst thing that could happen is,. Subject to imagination
f**k mister redelings
