Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer! (ASPIE STYLE!)

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Asteroids could end life as we know it, a worldwide outbreak of hemmeroids would just have us all sitting on pillows, if your a shrewd investor have your your shares in preparation h skyrocketing, and if you happen to be Dan Rather or Martha Stewart don't worry - it would pretty much leave you unaffected, no change of schedule.

Why can no one seem to get themselves over the fact that its really not butter?

It's because people are shocked that they've been eating old Crisco instead of the 'real' butter that they've gotten from the store.

Why are people so obsessed with people sometimes?

This is a symptom of the dreadly NT syndrome.

How many kinds of pasta are there?

That's a closely held mafia secret. If they told you they'd have to kill you.

Why is the"birds and the bees" birds and bees?? Why could'nt it be flies and jack rabbits??

A. It probably should.

Q. Oh mirror in the sky what is love? ( I liked the seventies less than the sixties but more than the eighties.)

love is a complex group of emotions and feelings that allows a person to care for, or desire something..... usually ends badly... avoid if possible. (i forget where i heard this...)

where is the end of the universe

The universe is looped, it begins where it ends. (sound lke circular reasoning??)

Why are there so many T.V. preachers that are rely just scam artists??

Easy, they grew up idolizing Jim and Tammy Fay Baker.

Why do yuppies not use washcloths?

Man,... I've been trying for hours to think of a punchline for this one!

Umm.... because the don't want to get the $hit from thier nose on their hands?? (brown nosers?)

Why do Lawyers wear neckties?

Don't know but it's fun to watch em squirm when you feed it into the paper shredder.

Why are so many lawyers thieves?

Most Laywers were theifs as their first job.

Why do soldiers wear camouflage??

So they don't become fashion war victims.

How is it you can tune a piano but you cannot tune a fish?

It's because "fish" is another name for "beginning oboe player"!

Why don't most cats like playing fetch?

would you like it if someone chucked things at you? (...and then expected you to bring it back to them so they could do it again)

Why do they oranges 'oranges'? (...i know they could have come up with something more interesting)

Alien: "What is it?"
Scotty: "It's... it's grreen "

Scotty: "What is it?"
Data: "It... it is green "


Who said, "What film is it where a man walks into the florist's shop and asks, 'What flowers represent, "Time goes by?"' and the florist says, 'White lily.'?"?

"Power Rangers SPD"

Why do we, when we're little kids, eat the weirdest things like Playdough and legos and what not?