Board index › Off Topic Discussion › Random Discussion

Funny, corny joke thread

Page 15 of 24 [ 377 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 ... 24  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Brain Weevil
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2023
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 65
Location: Massachusetts, USA

21 Jun 2023, 5:55 pm

A big moron and a little moron were sitting on a wall.
The big one fell off. Why didn't the other?
.
.
.
.
.
.... because he was a little more on!


_________________
Diagnosed with severe ADHD [combined subtype] in 2012, age of 52. "Informally diagnosed" in 2021 as on the spectrum by two professional psychologists, deciding independently.

The world is not merely stranger than we suppose. It is stranger than we can suppose.
J. B. S. Haldane, (1892 – 1964) British biochemist.


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 126
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,629
Location: Out of my mind

22 Aug 2023, 3:14 am

Why can't dyslexics tell jokes?

Because they punch up the screw line.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 126
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,629
Location: Out of my mind

22 Aug 2023, 3:15 am

Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change colours?

It had a reptile dysfunction.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 126
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,629
Location: Out of my mind

24 Aug 2023, 1:14 am

They've brought out a magazine for homeless people.
It's called Better Crates and Cartons.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,433
Location: Chez Quis

24 Aug 2023, 1:17 am

Oh sure. Barge in right when I'm falling asleep and feeling cuddly.

Some friend you are.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 126
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,629
Location: Out of my mind

24 Aug 2023, 3:56 am

^ I don't get it. :scratch:

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Didley squats.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,433
Location: Chez Quis

24 Aug 2023, 5:49 am

I won the gold medal at that. ^


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 126
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,629
Location: Out of my mind

29 Aug 2023, 12:15 pm

Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Because Ken came in another box.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


Readydaer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Dec 2022
Gender: Female
Posts: 868
Location: Court of Fontaine

29 Aug 2023, 12:29 pm

what did the sandwich say to the liar?

"what a bunch of baloney"


_________________
My god. jelly donuts are so scary.


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 126
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,629
Location: Out of my mind

29 Aug 2023, 2:51 pm

It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub and a 45 minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


Comet Zed
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2023
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 871
Location: Yugambeh Country

07 Oct 2023, 11:18 pm

What do you call a joke without a punchline?


_________________
uh-huh wooo yeah


Comet Zed
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2023
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 871
Location: Yugambeh Country

07 Oct 2023, 11:24 pm

Why was the thicket running away?

It was being chased by the copse...


_________________
uh-huh wooo yeah


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,952
Location:      

07 Oct 2023, 11:47 pm

I started a career as a psychic, but gave it up. Couldn’t see any future in it.


_________________
The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,952
Location:      

07 Oct 2023, 11:50 pm

Did you hear about that psychic who performed self-immolation in public today?

Show Spoiler
It's rare to see a medium so well done.


_________________
The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,952
Location:      

07 Oct 2023, 11:52 pm

I knew the Psychic was a phony as soon as she accepted my check.


_________________
The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,952
Location:      

07 Oct 2023, 11:53 pm

Hilary Clinton goes to a psychic. The soothsayer tells her, "Your husband will die a horribly violent death."

Hilary asks...

Show Spoiler
"Will I be acquitted?"


_________________
The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.