What's on your mind right now?

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some patsy anarchists to kick start that one, houray for progress
top that off, with spanish flu that killed more then the war did,
and bolsheviks,
and vienna, how habsburg, the home of psychiatry, conditions and reasoned tortures
(dr. lama loves vienna very much and it's mutual)

http://www.drjudithreisman.com/archives ... erm_1.html
when your world is made of fake and falsification,
twentieth century be the one of "propaganda of progress"

was macron turning the 100y end of ww1 into a celebration of 100y state socialism?
https://www.ocregister.com/2017/11/19/t ... struction/

I'm wondering if my mind is messed up.
I'm wondering if I can be a good mother.
I'm wondering if I hate my dad.
Hate is such a nasty thing.

I have a song stuck in my head.

Damaged circuitry, alternatively designed circuitry or simply a defiance of normal internal programming... which is more fitting? Don't know the answer. Bouncing around reasons to go get this resolved, mixed with reasons why it would be a waste of time and resources. Dissuade myself from moving forward with anything, until something sparks the question again. A loop that keeps going, and has been going for 9 years. Initially one that wouldn't loop back for extended periods of time, but the fallout from the actions I took that cost me seems to have impacted it. Regardless, it's a loop I won't allow those physically around me a glimpse of. Maybe one day I will meet the condition that terminates it.

Being human once more..

I can't focus! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

I hate that I was born into a culture where you have to be sexist, homophobic, racist, and wear Christianity like a badge to be successful while being the opposite of those things gets you considered to be "weird" or a "loser".

I spent a total of 17 hours volunteering this past weekend. I should feel satisfaction, but somehow every error I committed seems to be at the foreground.

Cooper's ligaments
In what ways is white chocolate less healthful than milk chocolate?
Playground versus torture chamber
Slide rule
Abacus
Some forms of hummus tastes like cheese
Wish I joined the military when I was 18. Now I have too many MEPS disqualifier
Can't get fired in military
Full medical and dental insurance
Full time job
Advanced individual training
Base Area Housing
Camraderie


Explosive ordnance disposal

Dealing with everyday difficulties be it people or events that occur

Sometimes too lazy to read a book

It gets on my nerves when precious lil "people" "help" me one teaspoon and take one gallon of credit.

It gets on my nerves when precious lil "people" accuse me wrongfully. Or misrepresent or exaggerate my actions.

Self important, morally innocent lil attitude




No hobbies, job, or goals

No hope, no future


Health, personality, iq, luck determines almost everything in "life"

I don't like my own personality, but repressing emotions gets nowhere

Precious lil "people" act like I choose my personality, and they reject me for it

Precious lil "people" tell me that they "care", "help", "friend". But they do not "care " enough to say "excuse me" instead of "what". Much less reD a book about autism



Homophobia

Anxiety
Random violence by thugs who haven't been apprehended
Worry for others
The fact I had nothing to say about the question "Do you have any goals?"
Wishing I had a little shack somewhere to escape
I really want to read a new book

Abraham Hicks suggests not talking about my mother as she is but how I would like her to be.
So, caring and sweet.
Discreet.
Positive.
Understanding.
Non-judgemental.
Comforting.
Uplifting.
Joyful.

This could take some work.