What's on your mind right now?

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I got through the night after having argued with my dad. No commination or punishment thus far. I still mean to purchase an iPhone charger and not lose the meaning of the day.

Am thinking of shifting 'youtube viewing energy' onto being on this website instead b/c my attention span isn't dispersed the same way here.

Thinking about the benefits of becoming a mod if I decide to become one.

I am not immune to boredom even though my threshold for it are different. I am not immune to the impatience which stems from the frustration of having to culminate skill for indeterminately long before anything acceptable impact comes to be--one reason for why I 'quasi-caved' into pornography on Wednesday rather than reading the book about drawing ppl.


I'm going to make a connection to what can be found here (viewtopic.php?t=369410)...were I tomove out I think that I am going to find myself frustrated and upset by 'mundane chores' not the least relevant struggles to maintaining labour..there are going to be 'gaps' of time when I will be venting and having to 're-gather' my thoughts and energy and me not being as skilled at art as I would like to be I doubt it would be expressed that way as often..I am more likely to be verbally expressing myself one way or another.

For many years, I pondered about abortion as a 'branch' of birth control considerations in the grand hypothetical of me possibly having a relationship. Romantic, 'post-' or 'meta-' friendship kind. I feel that when it came to pondering about assisted death, I never really 'completed' doing that b/c I didn't ponder the forms related to suicide.I am a believer that between the capacity to assist in the death of the self (ex.euthanasia) and the capacity to assist in the death of another (ex. abortion) at such extremes in life when apparently your are going to become subject to the most maximal amount of change or the least amount of change is a mid-point in which you are alive--you 'assist yourself' in remaining open to experience ('self-compassion').

Hence given that I am out of the proximity and have sufficient/acceptable disengagement from my parents and family, I would like to set up a journal related to suicide and other forms of 'self-death' for the significance of it as a thanatological based intellectual exercise/curiosity--I'm not too sure if I will read Durkheim's book.

I dread that my dad might become inebriated again.

I have a sudden, curious and insatiable desire to watch Bridget Jones' Diary but I don't know how to stream it.

All I can do today is surf around here, drink tea & smoke herb. I have to sort my crazy self out before I can communicate any better with someone special. It's great to see each other but composing myself enough to see anybody is a constant problem. I'm trying not to be a stranger.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I hope Georgia beats the stuffing out of Alabama.

As far as effectively 'being your own philosopher' all you need is a practice of meditation and logic.

How I would love to go through these videos: https://hplca.kanopy.com/video/introduc ... rmal-logic
and https://www.thegreatcourses.com/courses ... ition.html .

My boyfriend doesn't care about me even though I'm having his child.
I need to let him go.
Cause he can't be a man to be there for me for real.
Just to send me money or advice.
But, he doesn't seem to want responsibility though his words say, his actions are wish wash.

String cheese is awesome.

Fingers stiff and sore from cracking knuckles

Arthritis

Osteoporosis

Risk factors:. Under 127 pounds, Asian woman, postmenopausal, diet, anemic , depression, family history

Prop list and script: 'homework' which I mean to complete before Tuesday for a skit in an 'art work' group of sorts which I am participating in.

I don't want to become the guy who is known for bringing up sexual-ish issues on this forum but I have a feeling it will become that.

'Not caring' hurts.