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Karamazov’s Fruit Cake

8 oz Buckwheat Flour
6 oz Soft Brown Sugar
1 oz Ground Almonds
1 tsp Baking Powder
1 tsp ground Ginger
1 tsp ground Cinnamon
1.5 tsp Mixed Spice
• sift together into big bowl.
6 oz Butter
• rub in to make “breadcrumbs”.
4 Eggs
• Beat in.
12 oz Mixed Dried Fruit
4 oz Glacé Cherries
2 oz Crystallised Ginger
• Beat in.

Spread across a greased and lined 10” diameter tin, bung in preheated oven at 160 degrees C for 2 hours. Cool and devour.

Karamazov’s Chocolate Brownie/Cake thing

5oz Butter
1 Bar Salted 70% Dark Chocolate
• Microwave for 30 sec, then whisk smooth: set aside.
3 Eggs
5 oz White Sugar
• Whisk together till frothy (new bowl)
0.5 inch of vanilla pod sliced fine crossways
• whisk all of the above together.
4 tbsp Cocoa Powder
4 oz Gram Flour
• sift and fold into above
(Optional: add 1 tsp of instant coffee granules)

Decant into an 8” baking tin, bung in pre-heated oven at 175 degrees C for 30 min. Cool and devour.

NB: remember to do the knife test and leave in a touch longer if necessary.

Work is going to reopen 11th May, taken aback. It's a shop and while I know most customers will social distance some won't. I'm going to struggle with being polite to total w*kers happy to kill off the old and the sick.

^It's aloud because we sell DIY and gardening (we sell everything).

Our isles are about one metre wide.

^^Allowed.

fluff, can you request more time away from work until you feel comfortable?

Consider it a short mental health break. You could even get a doctor's note if you have anxiety.

Yeah, I’m considering restarting some of my gardening work for customers who can be relied upon to not endanger themselves by getting to close to be conversational.
Both my bank balance and the knowledge that they are, for the most part, not capable of the maintenance due to age are pushing the line of thought...

I couldn't persuade a doctor to think anything other than that I am 100% fine if my life depended on it. I always look fine. Fine and normal, fine and normal. They take one look and diagnose me fine and normal.

I'm not sure I'd say I was anxious. I've just read the email so I'm not sure how I feel. Hesitant, maybe. I have no underlying health conditions and I'm not old or overweight so if anyone goes to work it ought to be me. I've been doing the shopping for both my parents and if I go back I won't be able to because I could be a carrier. It would be just like me to get it and be very very mild.

I'm most concerned about the stress of resisting punching difficult customers in the face.

The nice thing when you work for old people is you know you are needed. I worry that our elderly customers will come in and they shouldn't be out and about. A lot of our customers are elderly and usually I think about how I might be the only person they speak to that day so I chat to them. It's a tough call.

Yeah, I’ve already done one little job for a pair of elderly widows who live together: one them had a significant birthday at the weekend and her son had mail-orders her some rose bushes which needed planting urgently.
I’m also thinking of another lady who has a massive lawn that’s up a flight of steps from the shed: I doubt she’d be able to get the mower up there without having an accident...
And my grandmother is passed 90, recently bereaved, and hasn’t seen another human for six weeks now: I’d probably better hoik myself across the shire, do her lawn & weeding and let her talk herself out at me from a safe distance.
So yeah, you’re right: negotiating between risks to their biological health, and those to their mental health is the thing.

Dear Boss,
Thank you for the honour of your invitation to work. I'm tickled pink by your thoughtfulness. Unfortunately, I'm not yet able to attend the ball because I am caring for my parents who remain sheltered at home. I cannot risk transmitting your smelly germs to them and, likewise, I'm too busy buying their toilet roll to conduct business in 1 m wide aisles at your behest. If you insist that I must slave for cash, please expect that I will, rightly and justifiably, punch customers in the face out of spite toward the moral insufficiency of capitalism. It's your call.

Toodles,
Your Faithful Fluffysaurus

Total death toll up to 26,000 with estimates it is closer to 45,000 as the ONS try and catch up on numbers outside of hospitals. Our death toll is now the 3rd worst in the world and we are expected to overtake italy as 2nd worst in a few days

All the while, PM Johnson announces to the nation that other countries are looking on at our success over handling the coronavirus

^Oh dear, that sounds horribly like, you know who.

^ I think his inner Telegraph correspondent is showing

ONS release the countries updated numbers. 32,000. UK now has the highest Covid-19 related deaths in all of Europe.

Boss phoned, shop not reopening till 15th and I am to stay on furlough till needed, hurrah! 18th at the earliest so an extra week minimum.