What's on your mind right now?

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I'm wondering if anyone will see my post on parents' discussion part of forum about lullabies and reply.

I never had a sprained ankle before.
But I do have a LOT of broken footwear instead.

While I sense space on daily basis, that doesn't stop me from relying so much on muscle memory that I don't use my visuals very much.
And so if there's something new that is low enough lying on the way, I'd very likely end up with a bruised knee or toes, or some misstep.

Sure, my special interest is crafting. Very visual-kinesthetic in nature and did a lot of fine motor tasks on daily basis.
Yet that doesn't stop me from being reckless with handling objects, crappy handwritting, and my inherited 'heavy hands'.

As I said, I do sense space on daily basis.
But like with words sometimes, I forgot which is left and which is right. Doesn't help that I also forget the words for left and words for right.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

maybe instead of making "feelings of worthlessness" a symptom of clinical depression, the correct classification, is "feelings of importance" as Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

(delusion of grandeur). b/c it sure as f**k appears to me, that "most people" suffer from (or enjoy) narcissistic personality disorder.



electrical engineer, invention: invent a dog leash that provides the owner an electric shock every time the owner takes the dog off leash (unless in an off leash area).

but i ain't smart enough to build it. and no authority to write the law. (leash law).

b/c it is "technically illegal" to take precious lil "people's " Fido, Spot, and Rover off leash, but nobody cares (except me). and what am i gonna due, tattle? to whom? physically and legally i can't do jack s**t. it's like Social Anxiety Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. entitled lil dog owners act like, not only are they not doing anything wrong, but they have never done anything wrong before.

"she's friendly". i hate that. after a mass shooting, the defendant's/suspect's family/friends/acquaintences/enemies/strangers, claim either (1) the suspect was nice and normal and they never would have fancied that the suspect would have done a mass shooting or (2) the suspect acted autistic/schizophrenic, in that he was a loner and had a volatile temper and no friends and weird interests and did not get along with anyone.

"friendly" dogs are not exempt from the Leash Law.

that's like saying, a person is "Friendly", so they can carry a gun. no. unless you have a Concealed Carry License, or your job requires you to carry a gun, you cannot carry a gun.


precious lil "people" act so f*****g self important and morally innocent. many of them truly believe that they have never done anything wrong before and that they are doing the solar system a favor, by gracing it with its presence.

logic is not superior to emotion, but it is bad and wrong to confuse emotion with logic.

precious lil "people" act so simpleminded.

if they like something they say it's "cool". as if they have a moral right (or ought to have had) to veto anything that ain't "cool" with them.

if they do not like it they say "sucks".

if you do something they do not like (no matter how small), they say "why". as if there is a correct answer, but the answer that you provided is not the correct answer. (wrong.) there ain't no correct answer.

they say "what" instead of "excuse me" and half listen when you talk. but they act like every thought and emotion that goes through their precious lil heads, is the latest greatest scientific invention.

they confuse opinions with facts.

they refer to themselves as "most people".

they believe what and whom they want to believe, regardless of evidence.

they say something is "disrespectful", but you can't measure respect.

materialistic and judgmental

when the previous counselor said that i was "like rosa parks", when i was the first woman in the mens lockerroom (ucsd 2006), the counselor acted like she was "helping" me. but it sounded like, when a woman told her daughter, that it was "amazing" that her daughter went to the big toilet. it sounded condescending to me. if Rosa Parks were to have heard, Rosa might have said it was "disrespectful", in that it belittled Rosa's contribution. the Montgomery Bus Boycott lasted over one year. it had financial leverage, while i did nothing of the sort. and could not have.







f**k the spoiled upper middle class brat from the former aikido dojo. the instructor never should have let it take lessons.




at least one job description specified "friendly, fun, funny". not "stick in the mud personality". what the flying f**k? what is that, Myers Briggs Discrimination . "stick in the mud personality" is par for course, standard, in obsessive compulsive disorder and autism.

which makes it hard to get a job. the jobs that i qualify for, all the ghetto riffraff drug dealers, also qualify for. a disproportionate number are in retail, restaurant, and sales. my wierdfuck personality makes it hard to get those jobs, and, once hired, not get made redundant. restaurants = sensory overload. bright lights, loud noise (precious lil "people" talking, hot and cold temperature, touching, smelling.

the solar system is a torture chamber, for me. and my "life" can and will only get much worse. there is no hope (or a negligible amount, significant digits). not worth, cost benefit analysis.

for the former aikido instructor, the solar system is, a playground. "survival of the fittest" personality.

"life": health, luck, personality, IQ.


granted i have zero job skills, but no matter how many job skills, i acquire, someone with fewer than 6 personality disorders will apply for and get the same job.

exception: telecommuting, self employed. there might be others, but they are few and far between.

..looking at how many *recent* videos alone come up when searching..

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_ ... p=CAI%253D

..I think that I might finish the year with a gratitude for being Canadian.

I need to get off of here soon. Sleepy.

..'Fahrenheit 451' with Michael B. Jordan is 'powerful'..

Guilting even when ppl aren't too literate, being too complacent to realize how restricted information is an insidious social mechanism fuelled by an extreme anti-intellectualism which goes beyond disparging with the word 'nerd', taking away a braille book from a visually impaired person..

..a self-immolation scene and you can expect a distinct violence given the use of flamethrowers.

How much more does this mean to autistics?.

Can I actually get to the point where I drive myself around, or do I just lack the attention span for it? Would I be a hazard to those around me in attempting to find out?

A former classmate emailed me "why are you depressed?". He told me that I have shelter and a lot interesting things to do every day. (The second statement is not correct.)

What the flying f**k?

That's like saying "why are you autistic?"

Depression is a diagnosis, not an emotion

There is no , controlled experiment

And to think, I thought he knew me better than that

Disappointing

After mister redelings, I am reluctant to trust or confide in anyone





The former aikido instructor should not have let the spoiled upper middle class brat take the class

f**k that lil dips**t

Entitled lil dips**t

The reasons why Celtic don't care about my light sensitivity are 1 cos of cash and they've spent cash on the lights so want to make use of them and 2 cos of PR.
They've probably had a well deserved PR nightmare this year.
Supporting a football team is like being in a religion because it's voluntary but hard to stop if you 'believe in it'.
I'm probably the only Celtic fan who thinks about this stuff outside of those who have to.
I still really want to go to football this year. I'll probably go to Whitby.
We're still more good than bad.

I gotta eat soon.
Possibly, I'll stay at my friend's house today for as long as I can before I need to leave.
I hope my baby will be okay in the long run.
I hope for the best with my apartment.
I really want it to be soon this week or next week move in.

I've been having a case of tardive dyskinesia for a while now where I can't stop blinking or squinting my eyes and turning my head. I had it when I was younger, only a lot worse, due to the psychiatric drugs I was put on. It was awful because back then I no idea the drugs were what caused, my brother would notice and would be very annoyed as if I was doing it on purpose, and the kids in junior high school would notice and copy it just to be evil. But I'm worried that now it might not be the pills I'm currently taking and something much worse like Parkison's or MS, although I read people usually get Parkison's in their 60's.

Of course, I can't just go see a psychiatrist and tell them what's going on, because currently are none available for me to see where I live, and even if I did tell them, instead of doing something like maybe reduce my dosage like the doctor had done when I suffered those tics as a teenager, they might change my meds completely and then I'll have to deal with the change or a whole bunch of new side effects. I even read one treatment is stabbing your face with nebotulism toxin injections. No thank you.