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True clinical depression is when the body completely crashes. In that state, one can't do anything at all but lie there for long stretches at a time, much different from sadness.

Cathy Lynn

I emailed him.

He does not interact with me in person, unless he happens to see me somewhere



But whatever. If he gets it, that is not the greatest thing in the world. If he doesn't get it, it is not that bad.




Istomin fan

When I was 21, psychologist diagnosed me with clinical depression


Thus far, I have not gotten to your definition of "true depression". But getting there.

A story which has been going on in my head since I was a young teen. This isn’t my paracosm, I get this story every time I listen to Bran Van’s Drinking In LA.

One night, a guy’s drunk after going drinking at a bar and almost getting into a fight. He drives his car fast and it crashes. An egglike structure of something like semi-permanent snow forms over his car. He is comatose but alive. Somehow, the structure keeps him alive although frozen, like how food in the freezer is still edible long after it’s meant to be.

The apocalypse comes. Earth doesn’t get destroyed but every living thing dies in a fire which affects everything but the car.

Aliens come to Earth. They’re doing like what our scientists do on Mars. Checking to see if there’s any intelligent life here.

Everything else is so scorched they can’t tell that it was once alive but they dig through the car and find him there. A creature/monster is how they see him. They are humanoid aliens. I never was quite sure at how to imagine their physical appearances only that they’re not quite human enough to see him as one of their own.

This creature/the young man fascinates them although they think it/he is dead. They watch it until he awakens, thirsting and desperate for something, like alcohol or maybe just water, which isn’t on earth anymore. He’s going to die. They rush to help him although they don’t know what he needs just that he’s thirsty.

There are two wakings after this, one is him waking in bed to his stereo, the other is him waking in hospital to human doctors and nurses. In all of these though, there’s the impending sense that he’ll die soon, somehow – whichever one of the three is his real waking up.

When I google it, nobody mentions this story so I think it’s something my brain made up. It’s partly from lyrics and partly from some vocals which I also can’t find online although I heard them on the CD every time I played it. They say ‘he’s alive, alive’ ‘yeah, and mighty thirsty already’ or maybe it’s ‘yeah, and mighty thirsty I reckon’.

I try to avoid this song because this story scares the wits out of me and I can't get past the story when I listen to the song, they're linked in my head.

I've had it up to my ears with my so-called family.

Must reduce emotional overeating

It has gone haywire

Every time some self important riffraff insists that I just have. To eat his cheap s**t, it's like, lose control

The s**t is not expensive, awesome, or special

Just pears and rice balls


Then I feel heavy, sick, and the gross


The lil f****r comes at any time, with any thing. And won't take no for an answer

f**k that ass hole


Every day is a holiday somewhere in the world, but winter holidays are bad

Things are closed, weather, holiday decorations and music



Precious lil "people" act like they have never done anything wrong before in their lives and "the meaning of life is helping people!"

(Mister redelings 2006 San Diego)

f**k that dicklette

None of the homophobic ass holes could even be bothered to write me a letter of apology


Now I feel like I can't trust nobody

Narrow-minded, egotistical ass holes

Homophobic





No plans left in "life"


Always just waiting for the next meal

: / ...is it just me or do girls give up on watching animation much earlier than boys do?..

I'm thinking of my father and hero who passed away on Christmas Eve several years ago.
Fly away home, Dad.

Love Forever,
Your Susie Q

I hope today goes well.
But, I'm really over staying at this house.

And, I hope when I leave, other issues can be worked out.
As for my dad and his smoking...sigh.

I'm not gonna let him babysit ever.

When you watch something which you think is cool or funny but when you share it with someone you feel ashamed or embarrassed for having enjoyed it.

Lately my head looks more like a woman not a man and I hate it

Riley dosh and Josie totah get public acclaim.

While I get ignored and ridiculed at best. (This is the best case scenario and I still want to commit suicide)



"Life" is going nowhere fast

Health will only get worse

$$ will run out

No hope left

Counselors are way too dramatic. "I wish it didn't happen" about a dog bite. Sighing dramatically about every slightest thing


Yes "you have a hard time dealing with reality" (mister redelings)

But counselors jeanne Courtney and Jamie Adair also have a hard time dealing with reality.

"Reality" is harder to deal with, for people that are not skinny smart handsome cisgender neurotypical white men, like mister redelings


f**k mister redelings
f**k the spoiled upper middle class brat
f**k homophobics
f**k Republicans
f**k drug dealers and idiot that call me "n***a"
f**k precious lil "people" that "help" you one teaspoon and take one gallon of credit
f**k people that say "what" instead of "excuse me"
Off leash dogs
Superficial, materialistic

(((IsabellaLinton)))

Remembering my Calico cat, C.C., who was adopted by our family on Christmas Eve, 2007 and lived with us for ten years. Calico Cat, Christmas Cat, Cute Cat, you are missed!

Hoping these festive days go smoothly. And that we aren't too occupied with other stupid things so that we can at least make it eventful. I'm a bit worried that it'll be boring, or that my sister will start complaining about something again.

Books.

Mum isn't Eastern Orthodox or anything but for some reason she's decided we're not having Christmas type food 'til tomorrow.
It sucks.
We have stuff like Mr Kipling's Mince Pies in and she's declared we can't have it...

There's nothing but sh¡t on the telly..I might as well go out.