What's on your mind right now?

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I think my boy crazy time has ended this month cos I'm looking up random obscure things about a guy I find fascinating but physically unattractive.

I found this random friend of his attractive in this photo lol. Not cropping that cos it's a private citizen.

I wasted time online at night again.

My cat better not wake me in the morning.

Best thing about kebabs is the bread. I want mum to make a vegan kebab.

My great uncle was probably aspie but then he had a nervous breakdown and then he became like a child. My great auntie loved him very much but he wasn't suitable as a husband anymore so she stayed celibate, annulled the marriage and looked after him for the rest of his life. I think that's sweet.

It's sad how good voices get bad as they age like everything else. We went to see Crystal Gale in concert a few years ago and she can't sing anymore.

I don't get why someone who can sing perfectly well in an English accent would fake an Irish one. Quite a few people do this. The Ryans band do this for all their songs. Their intros sound English, if you chat to them on Twitter they're English (of Irish descent) but their songs are all in phony Irish accents.

The Ryans band once asked me to write a song for them but I'm not a song writer. It's a different skill. And it's pretty risky to get known in that world for many reasons. One reason is: it jeopardizes other forms of success.

I really wonder what will happen with Brexit, it will either be all good or all bad it looks like now.

If I were a bloke I'd embrace my camp side but I'm a woman so I can't do that without it being seen as hyper feminine. There's a part of me which is into stuff like Oscar Wilde etc.

How can I explain that I'm pissed and frustrated for no real reason at all??

My mind had been either calm and sees no reason for any of this, or wanting to scream to stop whatever I'm feeling. While my feelings is half confused and annoyed why this is happening.

But something else is faster than that.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I don't have any personal space in my house! I don't have an area that I can technically put a "Don't Enter" sign on it, and it's starting to drive me crazy!

My "personal space" is basically my bed...and that's it. I don't know what to do.

My breasts feel large and heavy.



The idiot at the bus stop tolld me "go ahead" lol I did. He did not get on the bus.

If I were to have waited for him to get on the bus, would have missed the bus.

And he acted like I had to say "thank you"



While I was on the toilet, some ass hole kept loudly repeating "got them females with long fingernails and high heels.". He acted impatient. And I could not relax with his noise. So I got off without finishing. Then he told me he turned on the TV the hand dryer for me

Too loud

And he acted like I had to say "thank you"



Someone once told me that "huh" meant he could not hear what I said and he asked me to say it again

What about "excuse me?"



They use vague words like "help" and "care" and make it sound like they dragged my worthless corpse out of a burning building.

Frequency, intensity, duration

Too many triggers


Almost everyone talks too loud and too much




They do not have to "pick your battles"


f**k those entitled lil dips**ts

Searching for other things that would make more sense. Expressive aphasia perhaps? Maybe not... perhaps grasping at straws. Wonder where that phrase came from...

My brain hurts.

What is that damn clicking noise that happens in the wall between my room and the bathroom every once in a while?

^Is it a single click, or a series of clicks that taper off?

Could just be micro movements in the supporting studs due to the load they bear.

Or it could be the water pipes "knocking," which would make sense given it's coming from one of the bathroom walls.

I am considering all ways to get my mom to stop being a perfectionist because when I see my new therapist beginning in March, I will tell my new therapist everything. In fact, my mom loves to backstab people ranging from co-workers, me, my sister, and a friend of my sister's who has been staying with us for the past several months.

I have had absolutely ENOUGH of my college getting in the way of things I'm trying to pursue!!
I am this close to dropping out because I would rather spend the next 10 years working three jobs to pay my student debt back than continuing the rest of this year.

I'm studying at a Performing Arts major and the past three years the teachers keep telling me about how no one is going to call us after we graduate. I have been working extremely hard to build a network and actually get to the point where I get approached by directors and theatre-makers for their projects.

Even better, I was approached for a project of a huge theatre group that the college always mentions by [theatre group name], if you're ever able to get there. Unfortunately, there's an exam show during some of the dates that we also have to play the other show. There was, however, an option to have a resit exam. I thought the exam would be a director working with our graduation projects and presenting them, but apparently, we're gonna work on a whole new show altogether four days a week.

With a director, I must add, whose full name was mentioned every they were mentioned. They kept talking about "full name director" and how important they are for me and networking. They also told me about how the theatre won't challenge me in the skills that I'm not so good at while college is actually challenging us in those skills
(OH MY GOD THE HYPOCRISY, they were so disappointed when I picked theatre over circus as my major and have tried to convince me to pursue becoming a solo performer instead of an actor countless times)

The teacher even told me he is having actual doubts about me passing the exam due to my dialogue scenes not being convincing because of my Asperger's.

I tried to stay calm and not get angered (Because last time I was a bit angry the teacher was afraid I was going to punch him) but in hindsight I wished I said some more things about it rather than trying to stay mature and professional, even when the teachers were clearly looking down on me.

Now I have to contact the theatre group about it and I'm legit worried I have to quit the entire project altogether which sucks because I honestly don't even care about the project itself, the whole group there is just great and it's a great environment where I can be myself and feel at home. I'm gonna be extremely sad!

This isn't even the first time I had to abandon a project due to my college. I have been approached by various gigs such as a music video, fashion project and photoshoots but every time my college said no because I would be absent too much. I have never heard of those people again.

If education was free I would've dropped out of this college a long time ago!

I started writing this around 3am-ish and it's 6 am now, whoa

I think I just fell in love with someone's way with words.
If only I could express myself so well.

Like being a hemotologist while also being a vampire.

Studying sexuality or nudity in art while also having a pornography problem/addiction.