What's on your mind right now?

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I think I'm probably trans considering I've had the feelings of being male/masculine and aversion to being female/feminine since I was 7 and before that didn't feel anything about girl or boy. But I don't want an op because I'm a sissy. I hate hospitals and would never have an op unless I needed one to save my life. My granddad is the same. He almost died over that fear of hospitals.

Mum is annoying in how weird she's acting then when I say 'why are you acting like that' she says 'because I love you' and my stepdad says 'she always acts like that'. No she doesn't always talk in a sing song voice and try to hug me. It's annoying. I'm a masculine adult, don't treat me like a little girl.

She is pretending it's for no reason but it's definitely because of Rob... How could it not be? She's heard something since Friday.

I'm refusing to talk about the whole confusion/mess which is me and him online. Pretty hard considering he's all I've been thinking about since Friday.

Friday, Friday, Friday lol.

I'm watching the really bad snowstorm outside while I'm at work, wondering how bad the roads will be when I'm able to leave and lamenting the fact that I could not take my usual walk outside today because of the impassible streets. The treadmill at home is better than nothing so I'm grateful for that. I'll just need to force myself to get my 10,000 steps indoors today....

Why does Carol Brady need Alice as a housekeeper? Carol doesn't work outside the home, the kids are in school all day, and they're more than old enough to help with housework. I'm stumped.

I'm learning about LINETS Syndrome, which stands for Love Interest Not Essential To Story Syndrome.

I wonder if the song, Wonderful Land by The Shadows is about England. If it is, I love it even more.

Suspicious

Cynical

Wry

Angry

Some things should go without saying.

Ghetto lil riffraff keep trying to sell me drugs. It's like, wtf? Do I look like a drug dealer

Drugs could "help" me feel better

Medical marijuana

But $$$$ and addictive and do not want to interact with ghetto lil riffraff




Feel like society overvalues happiness

Happy is an emotion. It's not a catastrophe if you are not happy

Entitled lil dips**ts truly believe that they have a moral right to get and do whatever they want, to be happy. For example, "you make people uncomfortable with the way you dress ". But I also make people uncomfortable when I continue living. Mister redelings implied that unless I commit suicide, "you do not care about anyone except yourself!"




But he's not going to be obsessed with how he was homophobic. He's not thinking about this s**t 13 years later




Idiots act like they have never done anything wrong before in their lives

Makes it hard to trust anyone

Splitting fine hairs

It stopped before getting to the 'sticks and stones, weed and bones part https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gh4weSLztd0&t=1s ..love it when songs are done with the insertion of movie scenes.

Hope you feel better soon. Don’t worry about Mr Redelings,

I constantly think about the lawyer even now just a few minutez ago as a bad habit,

and how he yelled at n misled me and lied to me too, and it never does me any good. It just weakens me more.


Some ppl are prone to hurting others inadvertently.

Those people never reflect on their actions hurting others like you say

they think being ‘bada**’ is the best way to live. That includes trampling on others anf shrugging it off and carrying on.

Maybd thinking of them as a different species like foxes or otters wd be helpful

I think I am a badger (as my little sister said I look like a badger(
Badgers also like to be alone


Then I tell mysekf the law clerk is a wolf

Because she looks like one (beautiful but vicious or predatory )

And the lawyer was an Iguana (based on the vibes they gave me and rhe way they looked anf acted)

Or a Komodo dragon sometimes
So i tell myself OBVIOUSLY when a
Wolf, Iguana/Komodo Dragon, and a mere Badger collide,

the BADGER is The one who will be hurt /attacked

Maybe mr Redelings was a weasel or a snake or tiger or something else that has no business being near someone like you


(just imagine which animal suits ur nature best)

Kehinde Wiley. Integrating and studying Kehinde Wiley art for figure drawing could be important.

I wish you wd get a trudtworthy mentor who didnt hurt you then u wd be able to forget mr redelings

The same thing with me i really trusted n thought of that man as a priest of integrity n honesty

n the one person who cared about my kids which my XH didnt really at that time n who was smart and did not have any hidden motives except to make money but even that wasnt really a motive since he was richer than anyone (i thought)

i thought he wd save us frm the bad stuff n guide us (and he did fr some time somewhat)

then he purposely exacerbated n didnt help even when i told him what was happening n yelled at me n so on (as u can understand) n then i found out he had actually lied

So I understand
I wish u wd find a person who wd help n not have any bad reactions
Maybe someone whose whole work is to help n counsel LGBTq ppl
then u know straight away that theu will not betray that or malign you

I hope I am not a poser and if I am one I hope that I learn to stop.