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Remembrance Reiterated by Nedda Baba and Amber Helene Muller St.Thomas
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Sanctimony.

were's bandodgers' controversial l&d gone? whiped away, was that possible too?
its more a gathering of parents at the school these days, labels as virtues
& the strife to get into the teachers face

Deadly disappointment.

Trying to be hopeful

Do not have enough $$ to financially hire anyone. If it is a volunteer, then it is way too unbalanced in terms of power . (Mister redelings did not get $$. Otherwise he could be replaceable. at that time I was attracted to him before he had the nerve to "refuse to call you by your boys name" , he did not "hurt" me. emotional attachment .

Unless you are precognitive or telepathic, you don't know if and when someone will "hurt" you

"Hurt" could be physical or emotional

"Hurt" could be intentional or not

Anyone could claim that anything "hurt" them


In October, the counseling with Jeanne ended. She told me that she was confident that the insurance would provide one more year of counseling with a different counselor. But that is just sitting around talking. One hour every other week. Age 35 and counting.

I need to make breakfast soon.

It would be best in any debate I'm in, that people realize I'm never wromg.

I often assume that everyone knows about Discworld, so on the rare occasion I find someone who doesn't, I feel like dragging them to a bookstore and going to the P section and not letting them leave until they pick at least one.

Ooh, time to take my walk. Yessssss!

I have Seasonal Affective Disorder but it is against summer, not winter. I have issues with sunlight, heat, noise, and the longer days. I start getting stressed around February and don't feel better until early October. I hate that the weather forecasters make so many generalisations, assuming people love sun. "Good news! Bright sun! Everyone will be happy!" Meanwhile, I just want to wither in a ball when it isn't dark out.

This is partially a sensitivity to bright light, but also a sign of my agoraphoria. I'd rather hibernate in the dark or the winter. No, I'm not Goth and I'm not a vampire. I just feel much better at night.

Because u are getting flashbacks n perseverating on a similar things as I am


Although perhaos worse since u were younger n less equipped to handle it than me
As well u didnt pay the man as u mentioned n also had a crush on him unlike me
So obviously your thing makes a person more deeply wounded

But bcuz I somewhat share this issue i
Want to help u through as well as myself. It really needs to happen.

Its becoming ridiculous n embarrassing n painful fr me, to think that after so long (April 2018) i still daily ‘freeze’ n think about that until someone snaps me out of it n even then i talk to ppl about it quite often (at least a few times a week to someone online or my brother)


What do you think about the depression or LBTQ phone Hotlines to call n explain the entire event n get it out to someone by speaking (not writing)! It might help externalize it n so. On

Im going to do that right now although i hate talking n even more i hate telling strangers such a thing in real life
N i hate phone conversation

Im going to give it a try right now after posting this i hope frm googling u may consider a number to call.


Even if not i just want u to know that I really emphasize with n care about you on this
No im not a manipulative two faced person nor do I have any incentive means or intention to betray u
Just want u to know that I understand n care a lot

Do not have enough $$ to financially hire anyone. If it is a volunteer, then it is way too unbalanced in terms of power . (Mister redelings did not get $$. Otherwise he could be replaceable. at that time I was attracted to him before he had the nerve to "refuse to call you by your boys name" , he did not "hurt" me. emotional attachment .

Unless you are precognitive or telepathic, you don't know if and when someone will "hurt" you

"Hurt" could be physical or emotional

"Hurt" could be intentional or not

Anyone could claim that anything "hurt" them


In October, the counseling with Jeanne ended. She told me that she was confident that the insurance would provide one more year of counseling with a different counselor. But that is just sitting around talking. One hour every other week. Age 35 and counting.

blooiejagwa wrote:

I wish you wd get a trudtworthy mentor who didnt hurt you then u wd be able to forget mr redelings

The same thing with me i really trusted n thought of that man as a priest of integrity n honesty

n the one person who cared about my kids which my XH didnt really at that time n who was smart and did not have any hidden motives except to make money but even that wasnt really a motive since he was richer than anyone (i thought)

i thought he wd save us frm the bad stuff n guide us (and he did fr some time somewhat)

then he purposely exacerbated n didnt help even when i told him what was happening n yelled at me n so on (as u can understand) n then i found out he had actually lied

So I understand
I wish u wd find a person who wd help n not have any bad reactions

Anyone could label anything a "bad" reaction

You do not know what their reaction will be until after it is over


Maybe someone whose whole work is to help n counsel LGBTq ppl

Jeanne was like that


then u know straight away that theu will not betray that or malign you

It's more the context

Jeanne was 2018, (city not too homophobic), psychotherapist

Mister redelings was 2006 San Diego, civil engineer

Psychotherapist, per HIPAA, are not supposed to violate confidentiality

The Equal Employment opportunity commission did not add gender identity until 2012

So EEOC gender identity, does not apply to anyone before 2012. For example, mister redelings

EEOC only applies when someone is at work

Even if someone were willing to take me under her wing , like a good mother hen, for free (like mister redelings), EEOC would not apply to her


And I don't have enough $$$ to pay out of pocket


Jeanne told me, that the insurance paid her 75 bucks an hour to sit around talking to clients.



Unless something really wierdo happens I will never be able to pay for it

Blooiejagwa

Thus far I have already waste way too much time and effort, telling counselors about mister redelings

More analysis won't go nowhere

Hotline operators kept asking me if I was going to violate the Mandated Reporter law




Until I got the message and stopped calling


Anyways, as an autistic, talking on the phone is harder for me than in person

Mister redelings did not invent homophobia

Plenty of people are much more homophobic than him

So whatever


He was San Diego 2006


It is now 2019


Maslow's hierarchy does not contain mister redelings

"That was then, this is now"