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Funny, corny joke thread

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Fnord
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07 Oct 2023, 11:57 pm

Why did the psychic chicken hang itself?

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To get to the other side.


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Fnord
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08 Oct 2023, 12:02 am

A son says to his father "Dad, I forget. Am I awesome or fantastic?"
The father replies, "Both, son..."

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"... you're awe-tistic!"


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Comet Zed
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08 Oct 2023, 12:48 am

how many Freudian psychoanalysts does it take to change a penis - I mean lightbulb?


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And So It Goes
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18 Oct 2023, 8:09 am

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck up my nose!


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18 Oct 2023, 9:38 am

Fnord wrote:
A son says to his father "Dad, I forget. Am I awesome or fantastic?"
The father replies, "Both, son..."
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"... you're awe-tistic!"


:lol:


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18 Oct 2023, 9:39 am

How do you make a napkin dance?

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Put a little boogie in it


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Cornflake
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23 Oct 2023, 9:02 am

A man accidentally ran over a farmer's cockerel so he went to apologize to him.
He said "I'm so sorry, I ran over your cockerel - I'd like to replace him".
The farmer says "Well, Ok - the chickens are round the back".


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23 Oct 2023, 9:04 am

Just had a Tarka Masala.

It's like a Tikka Masala, but a little otter.


badum-tish, etc.
I'll get me coat...


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26 Oct 2023, 12:30 am

What do lizards do when they're desperate for money?

Work for scale!



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26 Oct 2023, 1:01 am

A duck orders a drink from the bar.
The bartender asks, "how will you be paying?"
The duck responses, "eh, just put it on my bill."


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Comet Zed
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30 Oct 2023, 10:10 pm

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Call it whatever you want, it's not going to come to you...


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Comet Zed
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30 Oct 2023, 10:11 pm

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef...


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30 Oct 2023, 10:12 pm

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef...


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30 Oct 2023, 10:13 pm

what do you call a lady with one leg?

Ilene...


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31 Oct 2023, 6:48 pm

And So It Goes wrote:
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck up my nose!


The carbonation burned my sinuses


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lostonearth35
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31 Oct 2023, 7:56 pm

In the cafeteria at a Catholic school there was a pile of apples for the students to eat. One of the nuns placed a sign in front of the apples that said "Take only one. God is watching."

A little boy saw the sign and went further up where there was a pile of cookies. He wrote up a sign and placed in front of the cookies that said, "Take as many as you want, God is watching the apples."