Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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I don't take compliments very well. When they're legit, I am uncomfortable being put on the spot, even in a positive way. When they're not legit and I can see through them, they aren't flattering at all. But there's an in-between that I don't even know how to take.

You expressed surprise that I was having that difficulty. That could be considered a compliment. I doubted your sincerity, but I also recognized that that's my own self-doubt maybe getting in the way. But, with all else that was untrue, I was probably right.

My ear hurts. I hope that I'm not getting another ear infection.

Early morning PERM attacks. Muscle spasms/rigidity (causes bruises in the least) and myoclonus (gotta watch out there). She had that happy neurotransmission rebalance afterwards, so the smile for my own mental health did wonders (yeah, I still think of myself a little).

I don't like compliments either.

A customer at work had the nerve to tell me that she did not care about the doctor note and I just had to load 12 bags of 60 pound concrete. So I did. That stupidass b***h was supervising me the whole time and making critical comments with every bag of concrete.

That was the only bad thing that happened today, that I know of.

But I was preoccupied with it the whole f*****g day

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Emotional overeating

The ordeal involved in getting my car fixed.

I've discovered a term that means essentially the same as benching: breadcrumbing. They both mean to keep a relationship active with the minimum of effort short of ghosting.

As far as I can tell, my taking it badly is perfectly normal. I've likened it to teasing. A protracted rejection.

Anxiety

I didn't sleep at all last night because of my back hurting.

Disliking myself, which isn't anything new, but maybe it's a little worse today
Realizing how being stuck in time and letting feelings known wouldn't be good for someone (a little slow there, Dill; you should maybe have a little more thoughtfulness for the emotional well-being of others); those things I should have kept to myself because I'm an oddity, and it's not like I haven't always done it anyway
Loved one stuff to make it a darker day
Memories of that loud violent stuff from dark days

Almost got all of them today.

Anxiety

Cellphone service ending. Must get new phone, but I just like cheap phones. Hate cell phones. Can get free replacement by going to store 30 minutes away, pay service fees. Or find my own online and pay more. Outrageous prices for pointless advice.

Current phone will cut off in coming weeks...but no date given?

I failed to keep my calorie restriction. I did manage to only eat approved foods.

Just emotional for no apparent reason

Anxiety

Fear of losing my friends and hurting them

I miss AprilR.