Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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Returning to America after a one-month vacation in the Philippines.

Hopefully your father is fine.

I forgot to take my medication again so one side of my face currently feels like someone put an awl through it. That'll teach me again. Drinking set that one off. Kick to the face - [slight] hemifacial atrophy decades later - trigeminal neuralgia from nerve compression years later.

Couldn't get to sleep last night because of fear of nukes and a billion other things. Might have to cancel going out shopping with my mom today.

Did not sleep well last night

Stupid scammers calling and saying someone made two purchases on a credit card I don't even have. Even though the message was obviously recorded I said "LIAR" and hung up.

The whole world just runs on lies.

I hope you feel better soon there, but my hopes aren't all that useful, sadly.

I'll be up tonight due to bad memories, but different than my usual. The ones where you have a father in the drug game and he drags you and your mother through that mud when you're a kid. Thanks, dad. He left her when she couldn't give anymore due to illness. She was there in his sickness. Life sucks for people that don't deserve it.

So much to do...but not doing so much.

Anxiety

Did not sleep well last night.

For the umpteenth time I've responded to your expression of grief, in a manner that only someone sharing a lot with you does. And it means nothing to you. Yeah, that was an opportunity to tell me what it was all about. Or tell me how you were doing now. If you wanted contact. Which you clearly don't. I am such a chump.

EDIT: f**k it. I did the appropriate thing. I acted as an empathetic person does. That you don't give a crap is on you, not me.

Other memory stuff. Mother illness stuff. Face pain stuff. Negative voice stuff. All the same old stuff. Had a couple of hours sleep with bad dreams stuff.

Something else I had to learn from facebook, I guess. I once asked you for shows you like and you said you'd have to think about it. I reminded you and you said you'd have to think about it. Who doesn't have a minute to answer a question like that for a friend? I asked a common friend and you know what she did? She gave me like eight shows she likes. And she was curious enough to ask if I'd checked them out.

I've got a cold sore on my lower lip. Is it from all the stress of living in this crapsack world, or has my immune system weakened?

It might be from stress, since the last time I got a cold sore was nearly two years ago, not long after covid was declared a pandemic. And then I got a second one not long after the first one healed, which is unusual for me.

Stress can weaken your immune system a little, as can insomnia. Hormone fluctuations can bring them out too. I'm sure it'd be stress in your case since you've been suffering quite a bit with your words.

I guess I have a similar thing which is making me a little unhappy now, where my trigeminal neuralgia is worse when I'm more stressed (I am), which might just point more to an underlying autoimmune cause (which isn't mutually exclusive with trauma). It could just be the interaction between stress and pain, as you tend to feel pain more the higher level of stress.

Anxiety

My friends are still ignoring me. I feel like there is no person in this world that knows me. I am so bored