What's on your mind right now?

Post Reply New Topic

I really feel like I was designed to be alone. I'm no longer sure exactly what I am, but I'm human in physical body only. Whatever I am, I am not a social creature like humans. My instincts are not those of a social creature (for example, most humans make some sort of noise when injured, startled, etc. This is a social behavior, intended to attract other humans for aid. My instinct is to be as quiet as possible so I won't be noticed.). I suspect whatever I am also may well mate for life, but doesn't spend all its time with a mate - they come together for mating season but otherwise are solitary creatures. I'm no longer sure I have the soul of a dragon, but I am still sure that what I am in every way except physical appearance is not at all human. Either that, or I am a human, but different enough in ways other than appearance that I should be classed as a different species.

Just thinking of how many humans' lives revolve around finding a mate, but it is not and never has been a pressing concern for me. Among other things.

It's also interesting that my brain seems to be wired for hearing, not sight, to be my primary sense. I use hearing to monitor every aspect of my environment, and I freak out if my hearing is dampened in any way (which is very frustrating because it means I can't really use earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones to help with hypersensitivity).

Maybe I'm even the only one of my kind. That would explain why somehow I manage to never quite fit in to any sort of grouping, I guess.

I wonder if tummy bugs can be cross species cos mum's dog and my cat were sick within 24 hours of each other

Mum isn't grateful enough for me walking the dog, I'm scared of dogs & she keeps taking me to scary places with loads of them or with the wrong kinds of people etc. I might say no next time she wants company.

What to eat for lunch.

I woke up weird again.
And with a painful symptom too.

Eh.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Just wish I had adult family members living with me like a brother or parents. Wdnt feel nearly as panicked n lonely n isolated to communicate online 24/7... if that were the case

a fast look around
therapistic babbling on behavioral tresholds,
annnnd the pile of necrophiliac fantasyland is growing and growing,
all that progress fantastical


vessels and communicating ..youknow..the thing

The opposite of any kind of human is a non-anthropomorphised inanimate object

Honestly? I don't mind practicing these scrawls slowly.

It was meant to speed up my handwriting.
But now I don't mind doing it half my speed because...


I tried so many code substitutions and ciphering for years.
Sure I get used to some, but something feels rather unsecured, if someone's just smart enough they'd decode it.
Pretty, but not 'incoherent' enough for someone who may sees patterns well.

Then I went and made more and more complex coding, I might as well try to create a conlang.
Yet, nothing sticks. The more complex the more messy.


All I want is something only I can read out in the open and no one else could.
Perhaps... I finally found it. Nothing too complex and only readable for myself.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Honestly getting kind of fed up of anonymous sites. Brings out the worst in some people. Allows people to say things they'd normally be polite about.

... Really, really cannot wait how this develops.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Decided to stay.

It's rude to say 'I think you have a lot of time on your hands' but maybe it's not rude when an aspie/autistic person says it? Maybe then it's just fact/bluntness with no hidden agendas of 'cos you're a loser with no job lol'.

I do have time on my hands cos I'm on ESA.

I think my Barkas joke is going over ppl's heads on twitter.

Bye bye, game subscription.
It's been really fun.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I want to be useful.
Yet
Mind is occupied with how the glitter is a safety hazard and already scratched my eyes when kept far away..and ought to be returned... and the time frame in which to do it...it doesn't even work for nailpolish because it flakes off.

Also it doesn't look good ..not to me at least.

110°F (43.3°C) in the shade ... and there is no shade ...