Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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Emotional overeating

A day laborer had the nerve to say "hello boy". (How rude)

Two customers had the nerve to pat me on the back (in a friendly way)

Not having my special friend of 41 years in my life always and forever with me. I could post this every day. (We do communicate a little by email at the moment, and it means the world to me when he sends me one sentence. Not today, though.)

My stiff muscles this morning.

A couple weeks ago I blocked the hole in my ceiling that acts as the cold air return for the bedroom above, hoping it would keep the fan my housemate runs in her window from pushing warm air into my room. Also hoped it would reduce the volume of their TV coming through that vent. It helps a lot with the former and a little with the latter. Doesn’t do anything to diminish the crashing noises that come from up there all the time, or the sound of the toilet lid slamming shut.

This morning she informed me that the smell of cat pee coming from my room downstairs kept her awake. Plausible before I closed that vent off, perhaps, but also note she has four cats in that room.

She has also said the kitchen light keeps her awake. That bulb is out the bedroom door, around a corner, down the hall, down the stairs, around a corner, behind the fridge, behind a wooden valence, and it is dim enough that even in the kitchen it is insufficient to see what I’m doing at the kitchen counter, but she says it keeps her up, upstairs at the other end of the house.

It’s possible she convinces herself of these implausible things, since she has installed a curtain in the upstairs hallway.

She lives on a 55 mph road and has another housemate who also slams the toilet lid in the night, and getting In and out of bed sounds like they are climbing on a pile of springs, but it is a lightbulb downstairs and the smell of cat pee coming through a closed vent into a room with four cats that keeps her up.

...

I don't like it. The waiting.
The stupid mind filling the blanks.
The uncertainty that drove to fill those blanks.
And blanks filled with things I wouldn't, shouldn't.

It's annoying.
To having to hold it.
To have to reign, regulate it.
And ended up having my energy and time over that instead of what I should do.

I hate psychological needs.
I hate the mind programs from the interpretations of the foolish and naive self.
I want her dead as much as she wants her past self dead.

Write my present, therefore future.
I wish. I really wish that's simply is the case.

It's like...

Yeah, either I'm not steering the damn wheel, or the rudder is damn stuck half way whenever I tried yo steer, and having to rely on the damn wind and change the sails...

It's taxing, it's annoying. It's a lot of work. It's exhausting. I wish I don't need to. My life would've been so easier if I wasn't the damn problem.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Heat warning here today.

A friend of mine is really struggling.

Heartburn

Couldn't sleep last night from heat, too wound up to feel tired today.

Someone keeps peeing in my bathtub, and they're not human.

^ better in the bathtub than on the floor

How-to-defeat-a-witch

I actually love that.

Thanks!

Overslept and missed going to church.