Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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I keep biting the inside of my mouth. I hate that coffee doesn’t wake me up right away, coffee usually wake me up hours later. Today I got up at 9 AM, I had coffee & falling asleep.

Hugs from me and my kitty boy.

Mother.

The OHP system was hacked into yesterday and the personal information of many who use it
were stolen including mine and my NT sister's.

TP's music selections.

Waking up.

Stress is really getting to me lately.

My girlfriend ran up a huge amount of credit-card debt & about maxed out all her cards & wants my help to afford her payments. She's been in this situation for a while but never majorly needed my help to afford her minimum payments till now. I've been telling her to stop buying movies & video-games & she has cut down some but me nagging her too much turns into a big argument. She needs me to help more financially but I'm majorly struggling to get by every month as it is & I almost never buy personal stuff anymore because I can not afford it. She rejects everything I suggest that could be realistically done now to help our financial situation or involves either of us just not paying on our debt. I don't want to waist my time & energy by having an argument with her about this that would just make both of us feel worse. The oven part on our toast-R-over is cr@pping out & the main cooking I do is using the oven feature. I'm not cooking for the two of us anymore & when she mentions it I calmly tell her that I can not afford to buy a new one. I'll eat cereal for two of my 3 meals a day if I need to. I'm not buying snacks for me anymore & I won't buy them for her unless she asks me to. When she suggests snacks I tell her that she can get some or I'll get them for her if she wants me to but I won't eat any because I can not afford to. I feel like I'm sounding like a parrot & constantly telling her "I can not afford". I don't even really want to eat much due to the stress. If Cass's mental health gets bad again I'll talk to her psychiatrist about becoming her payee for her benefits & getting power of attorney over her. I don't want to but it might be warranted & I'm the only viable option if it came to that.

I also just started a different med for allergies & skin eczema that might be making my mental health worse. I've been on Prednisolone for over 5 years & it hasn't been helping for quite a while but trying to go off of it makes my allergies & eczema majorly flare up. I quit taking Prednisolone for a month to get it out of my system before trying the new med but I'll need to take Prednisolone while adjusting to this new med so there may be some interactions. I could probably get the newer type of meds prescribed which may be more effective & safer but my insurance won't cover them & there's NO f#cking way I can afford five thousand plus dollars every month. If the med I'm trying doesn't work I'll try an immunosuppressant. My docs refuse to prescribe them due to concern about side-effects but I know how I could get some for cheap without a prescription. I really would rather my doc on board & have a prescription so I could be monitored for side-effects but I'm frustrated dealing with these issues. The 3 jobs I had were all cleaning related & my allergies & skin issues would make those jobs alot more difficult ATM. Getting a part time job where my income would be low enough for me to still keep my disability benefits could really help my mental health so I'd be out of our apartment more, more active, & not stressing about money as much. I know that continuing as things are is bad for my long-term health so I'd much rather take a risk on something that could potentially actually help.

Mother and the heat.

Dear Sun.
Seriously, get over yourself.
You think the world revolves around you or something.
Don't you ever take a day off?

My housemates can't smell garbage or burnt grease or cooking smoke or filthy dish water, but somehow they smell agricultural spray, so we close the windows at night when I could otherwise cool the house off. Then, during the day, all clear! Open the windows and let the hot air in. They understand what I'm doing to keep the place cool, they've acknowledged that it works, and they do precisely the opposite.

Constipation.

homophobia

Having been awake too early, due to noise from workmen.

Tiredness

I really should know by now that I need to keep everything to myself offline & brood secretely instead of trying to have an actual discussion about what's upsetting me because we both end up feeling like complete cr@p after & nothing changes for the better as a result

Thank you!
It's still really bad.
I'm pretty sure it's a herniated disc causing it.
I can barely move my right side.