What's on your mind right now?

Post Reply New Topic

I deleted a thread and I don't know if I should put it back on?

I wonder if God was sending me messages in those dreams.

I put it back on!

It's like...
I accidentally released a giant dam full of water out of carelessness.
The water flown so strongly, it broke the earth, disrupted the winds and the waves.

And it was so strong enough, it ended up with storms, whirlwinds and whirlpools, earthquakes and tsunamis.

Then there's me, trying to survive the disaster I accidentally brought myself upon.


Oh my.


As for those who wondered what the heck am I talking about?
Eh, let's just say it's some sort of internal landscape of mine.

But there's no despair or anguish, so do not worry.
Only chaos and unintended consequences. This, I intend to pay the price and survive it.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

This morning has been odd. I've had three people text me since I woke up, all of them having awful nights and/or mornings. Today seems to be a collective crap day for people I know. Even stranger though, I'm generallythe last person that people go to when they're having a rough go of things. I have no idea what's going on with today.

Although there is nothing wrong in my life, I was gripped by overwhelming anxiety yesterday and also today. It like something is physically moving around my innards, my heart in my throat, my stomach in my chest, my intestines roiling. I don’t know what happened to my liver.

I have no particular thoughts. An inability to do anything, paralyzed.

My Christmas lights went up with no problems at all. The system works! Now, they are on a timer and I can try to ignore the whole thing until it is time to take them down. With the virus around, there is less traffic, so I reduced the times.

In another life, I would've been in the frontlines by then.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Rats by The Kinks reminds me of Sid from Flushed Away.

I hope Granddad is ok.

If he isn't ok then I hope he gets better.

I hope my stepdad starts speaking to me like he used to speak to me. Like someone worth being around and not just nagging all the time.

I hope the other house is safe.

I hope we have so much food at Christmas it's not just not a struggle but it's also like a feast period like Christmas is supposed to be.

I wish granddad had been more careful but what's done (might be) done. No use being judgmental. Heck, maybe it will be my love of salty snacks that gets me in the end.

If me and granddad were into hugs, I'd have hugged him more. He knows I love him. I need to stop feeling guilty because we didn't express ourselves like a couple of NT women.

I really hope he's ok.

I feel guilty for thinking about other stuff.

I don't like when people put their nose in my business. I know what I'm doing for myself and I know what works for me.

I'm still saddened by the fact that peas are a legume and not a vegetable.

... it does not go gently. At least that's what I'd normally expect it.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.