why men make excuses for why they cant marry?

Post Reply New Topic

delete please

Last edited by Ferdinand on 18 Jun 2010, 6:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

+10

yeah, that kind of behavior definitely screams "creeper status" to me.
if my GF was like that it would prolly just make me hella paranoid.
i might even start sleeping with a knife under my pillow
to ward off the nightmares and kidnappings, and to cut my bonds in case of capture.
'cause in my opinion people that casually obsessive & clingy are only a stone's throw away
from being the type of crazies who're all like, "well, if i can't have you, then no one can!"
and killing you, and then themselves

ok... so just kidding,
but yeah, it does raise some red flags

oops, double post

This. A thousand times this.

You need to calm down and switch to a lower gear, MONIQUEIJ. If he isn't ready for marriage now then changing his passwords (even just HAVING his passwords), putting your Facebook status to "married" and even have names picked out for children might scare him off completely. Hell, just from reading your posts my "fight or flight" response is kicking in. I hope for your sake that he's not as easily alarmed as I am.

Back to the original topic...

1)I think the age thing has only light merit. It is very true that more people tend to be at a more mature place in life at older ages, but, honestly, ready is ready. There are plenty of people that avoid accidents until 25. There are plenty of people that can handle responsible drinking even at age 16 (though the age this is supposedly more rooted in human biology). Waiting until a statistically derived age shouldn't be the main prerogative. When you're ready, you're ready. When you screw up, you screw up. Maybe the probability of screwing up relationships is far higher when younger, but that just means one should be more careful.

2)There's evidence that men tend to shy away from the Big M at younger ages to answer your question. That being said, how does knowing this answer help you? Perhaps maybe it might allow you extra sleep at night while chanting to yourself, "It's okay. He's a male." But that don't solve jack.

3)From there, I would try to figure out the following three things that would be much more productive in resolving your plight. 1)WHY exactly he is shying away from the Big M. 2)Would it hurt your relationship really to wait longer (or even outright avoid marriage)? 3)What do you both want from the relationship and why?

Maybe these were answered previously. If so, apologies. But that's my perspective. Hopefully it aids your quest somehow?

You're a winner!! Let's make beautiful Sims together.

what fight to flight post i don't remember posting in it

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fight-or-flight_response

oh that what you mean. i thought you meant a tread on wp

well actually we came up with the names together but he didn't give me permission to post them on Facebook. but i can already see we have to wait a long time before planning kids, were not going to agreed on anything. on how to raise them. he believe i'm gonna give them a attitude all because i said i'm going aloud them to cuss and be rude to adults that say they are slow.
if the adult is being rude to my baby he/she should set them straight. were really trying to wait 3 years before starting the kids thing. ( everyone knows adults are 10 times meaner the kids)

See, agreeing on things like that is far more important than knowing each other's passwords (unwilling as it may be). Totally setting aside what I think about the allow them to be rude/don't allow them to rude thing, it's something you need to agree on, as it will directly affect any children you have. What happens if you tell a child that he/she can curse, and then he disciplines for that? You're not setting clear lines, and you'll ultimately confuse them.

I'm not fussy about age, but it seems to me that you've got some maturing to do before you decide to get married. There's obviously some privacy issues, as he tries to change his password, but you change it back. To me, that says that you're not willing to respect his wish for privacy. Being married isn't like having each other's passwords at all.

As for the names and all, there's nothing wrong with planning way in advance and dreaming, but you seem to want to do everything now when you're not prepared. If you don't agree on these things now, what are you going to do when it actually comes up in an applied situation?

We shall.

I don't think kids are really capable of setting adults straight, especially by swearing...
I'm going to stop saying anything on this thread.

I am an aspie girl and marriage doesn't appeal to me.

Nothing wrong with waiting a while before getting married or even skipping the whole marriage thing.

who knows my boyfriend always says he isn't going to tell me the day he is going to propose ( pop the question). thang i hate surprises