happymusic wrote:
Kaybee, you put my thoughts into words perfectly. Kiseki, I've also seen people in my family suffer cancer from the effects of smoking, but I'm uninterested in imposing my will on others, just like I don't want them telling me what to do. My dad was guilted by so many people about smoking and he reacted by just sneaking it. He has to come to the decision to quit, I can't make him get there. And in his case for example, I see him suffer so much - he has his whole life - and considering few people in his demographic make it over 62, if sitting in quiet and taking a drag on a cig makes him happy, then I say enjoy it, papa, I love you no matter what you do. And if it shortens his life, then, well, it was his decision and he was well informed. So be it. Everyone dies at some point.
My grandmother's had a cigarette in her mouth since the 1950s and has suffered no ill effects at all. She hasn't wrinkled, her voice is soft and sweet, she has no rattling cough, etc. It simply isn't a guaranteed express ticket to death, or even illness for that matter.
You made an assumption in your questions "...people you care about". I find this very curious and I have to turn it over in my mind. Honestly, I don't think I differentiate much between people who are close to me and people who aren't. They count the same. I don't want them to suffer, I want them to be happy, but this is an intellectual value I have, not an emotion. If they die they die. We all know it's coming. I don't get caught up in losing people, at least I haven't so far. I rarely ever miss them, and really, I don't know that I do - at least in the same way others do.
I hope this explains what I mean - I'm not a callous person, I'm just living my life and it often doesn't occur to me to be involved in the decisions of others.
I certainly see what you are saying. I wouldn't nag someone over their smoking habit, just let them know it might be better for them (and others around them) if they tried to quit. Chances are they want to. I know smokers say they enjoy smoking, but I think most of them would rather quit if possible.
And yeah, everyone dies. But I personally would rather die from something I didn't contribute to myself. Sure, there are some people around who don't show any ill effects from smoking. But I think that's rare.
Why I said "people you care about" is because I'm no guiding force in the lives of folks I don't know. I don't have any effect on their lives. Those I know and love, or even just like, I do. Why shouldn't they know how I feel? Like I said before, it's not like I would nag them over it. I generally don't miss people either, but if either of my brothers got some sort of cancer from smoking and died, I think that would be terrible. Because it could have been prevented.