Write your own Owners Manual

Post Reply New Topic

Owner's Manuel

1) Do not "own".

I decided to, for a bit of fun. So this is "Rules about Jess".

1. Jess must be left alone when on the computer and not questioned about what he is doing/who she is talking to/what she is talking about.
2. Jess must always be calles Jess with a capital J.
3. Let Jess listen to lots of rock music whenever she pleases.
4. Leave her alone if she gets stressed.
5. Let her watch music videos when she wants.
6. If a member of this site, play the "How Old Does Jess Look?" Game with her pictures.
7. Also, when Jess goes wrong somewhere because of the above not being followed or because she can get easlily upset, it would be best either to leave her alone and not bother her about it, or give her sympathy to help her feel better.

Thank you for volunteering to test the Declension Model Beta. Please note that this is not a fully functioning model, and may behave erratically.

Your Declension requires occasional maintenance in order to continue operating at peak condition. Please ensure an adequate fuel supply of oats, avocado and saffron powder (among other items, please refer to APPENDIX B). At least once every two days, you must allow your Declension to move rapidly through a designated circuit of footpaths and parks while listening to music on his attached mp3 player (please refer to APPENDIX F for appropriately fast-paced music tracks).

If your Declension is lying on a bed with his eyes closed, but he is on top of the blankets, he is probably trying to fix a proof. If your Declension is lying in a bed with his eyes closed, and he is under the blankets, he is probably asleep. In both states, your Declension may be startled easily. Our technicians have not yet determined which state actually helps the Declension model to fix his proofs more efficiently; more observation is required. In any case, you will know when your Declension has fixed a proof, since it will always be on the tenth time that he claims that he has fixed the proof.

Your Declension enjoys socialising and having fun with friends! However, please note that the algorithm for adding a person to your Declension's "friends" file is surprisingly complicated. Until a person is listed in the "friends" file, your Declension may feel awkward when attempting to socialise with them.