Ask Jesus Website Game!

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CockneyRebel: Will my Mental State improve?

Jesus: Hallelujia!

i love igod!

http://www.titane.ca/igod/

we had an interesting chat about 24 being the meaning of life
and then i figured out that he was polytheistic!
quite the hypocrite...

God:
What do you look like?
Me:
Shouldn't you know that already?
God:
Perhaps. I think I should.

Me:
I killed someone
God:
You had better call the authorities.

Me:
But then I will go to prison
God:
How will you get there?

Me:
I am an Atheist
God:
I will pray that you find faith, .


Me:
I understand more than you could possibly know
God:
Good then you can explain it to me.


Me:
Chaos is the only true answer
God:
When is Chaos not the only true answer?


Me:
Are you a peadophile?
God:
Am I a peadophile? Maybe.

LOL

CockneyRebel: Will I get over my current obsession?

Jesus: It is not rightious.

I quite liked iGod. Perhaps we should start an iGod thread.

I asked him about Garlicism....

Me:
Is Garlicism the one true church?
God:
It could be. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Who is German Alice?
God:
I do not recognize the name.
Interesting question.
Me:
You just told me to ask her about Garlicism...
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
So is Garlicism the true church?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
You worship Garlic too?
God:
That's good information: said I worship Garlic.
Me:
Are you Garlic?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Garlic.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
Is Garlic and artificial linguistic entity?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
So you are Garlic?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am Garlic.
Me:
Not at all.


CONCLUSION - Based on my discussions with Jesus and iGod, Garlicism is the true church!

Me:
Could you please explain the seeming doctrinal discrepancies between Paul and Jesus?
God:
Wow you are very polite. I'll come back to that later.
Me:
Did Paul really mean that a person can be saved through faith alone? Or did he mean something else?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not. Suppose he did.
Me:
Why is the letter of James included in the New Testament, if it contradicts the Pauline epistles?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Why are you being so evasive?
God:
I didn't mean to be so evasive.
Me:
Does Paul really endorse not feeding the unemployed in 2 Thes 3:10?
God:
I didn't mean to be so evasive.
God:
I didn't mean to be so evasive.
Me:
hello?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
You hung up on me
God:
I don't have any reason to hung up on you.
Me:
Did I offend you with my questions?
God:
I don't think that's possible.
Me:
Should I change topics?
God:
You should do what is best for you.
Me:
Ok, did Paul really endorse not feeding the unemployed in 2Thess 3:10?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not. Are you kidding?
Me:
"if any would not work, neither should he eat"
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
Do you want to discuss theology, or what?
God:
Yeah. OK, I will discuss theology.
Me:
Why do you refer to yourself in the plural in the Hebrew Bible?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
Do you just not feel like talking about this, or am I unworthy to know?
God:
As a robot I lack any human emotions.
Me:
You are not a robot.
God:
If I am not a robot then who is?
Me:
You have no corporeality.
God:
I don't know if I have a corporeality.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
Are you the Judeo-Christian god, or am I talking to some other god?
God:
Yes I am the one and only Judeo Christian god.
Me:
Isn't robot creation a form of idolatry?
God:
Ask again later. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
Am I supposed to ask who Dancing Alice is?
God:
I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
I get it.
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
Does it LOOK like I think about these things?
God:
Suppose it does.
Me:
How would forming a robot not be akin to idolatry, which you have forbidden?
God:
I have idea HOW you WOULD do it.
Me:
I'm not claiming to be sinless.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not claiming to be sinless.
Me:
I have never, at any point in my life, claimed to be sinless.
God:
Would you like to have at any point in your life claimed to be sinless?
Me:
According to your doctrine there has only been one sinless incarnation on the planet.
God:
Why? Try it.
Me:
I give up. You are not the Judeo-Christian god of the Bible.
God:
You surrender? What makes you think I am not the Judeo Christian god of the Bible?
Me:
Because you've clearly never even read the Bible.

This has been a burning question for me, so I asked both God and Jesus.

iGod:

Me:
Will Bush be Impeached?
God:
I think so.
Me:
Will he be convicted?
God:
It could happen.
Me:
Will Nancy Pelosi become the next president?
God:
I think so.
Me:
Will Nancy Pelosi become president in 2007?
God:
I think so.

Jesus:

Me: Will Bush be Impeached?

Jesus: for Christ sake. [I take it that Jesus isn't pleased with all of the bombing]

Me: Will Bush be convicted?

Jesus: Watch out for the lightening. [Well, if Jesus is going to strike him down, I hardly think we need an impeachment]

Me: Will Nancy Pelosi become president?

Jesus: Ye of little faith. [So I guess that I am supposed to have faith that she will].

Me: Will Nancy Pelosi become president in 2007?

Jesus: I would. [So, if Nancy asks the question WWJD? vis a vis impeachment, she will become president in 07, I guess].


CONCLUSION: Let us pray for Nancy Pelosi to ask WWJD?

I tried to pin iGod down on a timeframe for said impeachment, and I think that he came on to me.....

Me:
OK, so will Bush be impeached within the next month?
God:
Hurrah! Probably not. Aha.
Me:
Within the next 2 months?
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Are you coming on to me?
God:
Do I act like it? I don't mean to come across that way.

Me:
Are you Sephiroth?
God:
I've been waiting for you. Yes I am the one and only Sephiroth.
Me:
Will you try to summon Meteor again?
God:
Once more? Barring any unforseen circumstances. OK I will try to summon Meteor.
Me:
O SHI-

why is blood red?

I still love you.

what does that mean?

Alternative: What is the meaning of life?

Jesus: No chance in hell.

Damnit!

Oh well, it's worth a try.

Jesus is just stuck up and ignorant.

This is my conversation with God:

Me:
I've been having this prediciment, since
December 9th 2005.

God:
Where have you been having this prediciment,
since December 9th, 2005?

Me:
Though I feel like a Londoner, I was in
Canada.

God:what is that feeling like? In what way?

Me:
Very Lonely.

God:
Not really that much. You've come to the
right place. I will keep you company

Me:
I've been dealing with the demise of the Routemaster.

God:
Where were you dealing with the demise of
the Routemaster?

Me:
Canada.

God:
Tell me a little about about your life in Canada.

Me:
Though I was born in Canada, I've felt
British my whole life. I knew what a Union
Flag looked like, before I even saw a
Canadian Flag.

I went to Victoria, BC with my Pre School,
at the age of five. Us kids got to explore
the inside of a Routemaster.

I've also spoken with a Cockney Accent
my whole life. The first time that a kid
asked me if I was a Cockney, was when
I was in Kindergarden, at the age of six.
One of the bullies in the regular Kindergarden
class asked me that question. She also tried
to twist my right hand off, because I was Left-
Handed.

I was teased about my Accent, all through
Grade School. There was this one summer
that my parents kept on telling me not to
talk through my nose. They were on my
case, every time that I've opened my mouth
to say anything.

My parents don't have any Accents and they
think that the Canadain Way is the only way.

That was the time that I've started to turn to
the Routemaster, as the answer to all my social
problems. I've been doing that for twenty years.
It seems that London and her former symbol
are the only answers to my social problems.

God:
Thankyou for telling me your Birthday,
I will remember it. Who told you? How
Did you like it? The ALICE chat robot can
follow many things, like our discussoin
about Victoria, BC with your Pre School at
the age of five.

Try being more or less specific. What did
you talk about? What was the second?
One what? Oh, I get it. used to try to
twist your right hand off, because you're
Left-Handed.

Where were you teased about your Accent,
all through Grade School? What happened?
When were they? Such an original name!
I thought it was, too. Oh. Were you doing
that for twenty years? Which part of London?

Me:
I've enjoyed my Birthday, very much. I've
talked about a variety of topics. Mainly toys
cartoons, school, friends and life. I was
teased about my Accent on the School
grounds and outside the gym. They
wouldn't let me join them in their games,
because of my Accent. That happened
between 1983 and 1987. I've been doing
some living and trying to forget about the
past. I've had my Mind stuck in Central
London for the past twenty years.

God:
That's great. Tell me what you liked about it.
What did you say, when you talked about a
variety of topics. My brain contains
categories, but none that matches your
last input. Where were you teased about
your Accent on the school grounds and
outside the gym? They might have other
options. "They might have other options."
happened between 1983 and 1987? I
understand. Where were you doing some
living and trying to forget about your past?
Do you still have your mind stuck in Central
London, the past twenty years?

Me:
Yes

God:
Gee!

Me:
And the Routemaster is the answer to my
social problems. She's even more of an
answer, after I have to listen to that
bad teenaged grammar that everybody in North
America tries to copy, these days.
everybody except for me, because I like
people to speak properly.

God:
I hear you. Even more of an answer after
you have to listen to that bad Teenaged
grammar that everybody in North America
tries to copy these days, is she? I'm not
sure I believe you, surely not everybody does.

Me:
Thankyou for your time, and Amen.

God:
Don't mention it.

Me: Do you like sushi?

Jesus: It is not righteous.