Are dogs better than humans?

Post Reply New Topic

Do I think dogs are better than humans?

Yeah, I do. I was always closer to my dogs than I ever have been to most of my friends, because they were always there for me and would never shirk from trying to cheer me up when they knew I was upset.

And I remember one time when I had an epileptic fit at home by myself - both of my dogs stood by me until I could get up. I could clearly see the worry on their faces.

My cats, on the other hand, couldn't have cared less

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN

1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
2. Dogs miss you when you're gone.
3. You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.
4. Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
5. Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with.
6. Dogs don't criticize your friends.
7. Dogs admit when they're jealous.
8. Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch (and then never laugh at how you throw).
9. Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you're together.
10. Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
11. You can train a dog.
12. Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.
13. You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
14. Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.
15. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK, the *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)
16. Dogs understand what "no" means.
17. Dogs don't need therapy to undo their bad socialization.
18. Dogs don't make a practice of killing their own species.
19. Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
20. Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
21. You can house train a dog.
22. You can force a dog to take a bath.
23. Dogs don't correct your stories.
24. Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
25. Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair.
26. Dogs aren't threatened by two women with short hair.
27. Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.
28. Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.
29. Dogs admit it when they're lost.
30. Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.
31. Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.
32. Dogs take care of their own needs.
33. Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
34. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
35. Dogs are nice to your relatives.

HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME

1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
3. Both are threatened by their own kind.
4. Both like to chew wood.
5. Both mark their territory.
6. Both are bad at asking you questions.
7. Neither tells you what's bothering them.
8. Both tend to smell riper with age.
9. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
10. Both have an inordinate fascination with women.s crotches.
11. Neither does any dishes.
12. Both fart shamelessly.
13. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
14. Both like dominance games.
15. Both are suspicious of the postman.
16. Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
17. Neither understands what you see in cats.

Or course dogs are better than humans. Even leeches are better than humans, because they have a purpose.

Animal intelligence, and stuff about wolves especially is one of my interests. As such, I can't claim I like everything they do (I'm not real crazy about the way they treat the lowest member of the pack especially). But I do relate easier to dogs than to humans (and dogs in general have always liked and trusted me). Their body language is really easy to understand, and they feel whole-heartedly. They love with their whole soul, and when they're angry they show that too.

They're also a lot smarter than people give them credit for.

Unfortunately I'm mildly allergic to dogs, but thankfully...almost miraculously...poodles are hypoalergenic! Before getting one I thought they were this man-made breed that's kind of dumb and whimpy and un-dog like. Having lived with one for 14 years, I quickly discovered they're pretty much just wolves with hair instead of fur. She's the smartest dog I've ever known, the most opinionated on how things should be done, the most aggressive with "enemies", has surreal hunting instincts, etc. It turns out they're so old, no one really knows where they came from. (One theory holds that they were the wolves that traveled from Siberia with the people who would become the Germans.)

I was right that they like to use pillows...except I was totally wrong about why. I thought it was because they were so dainty and delicate they had to. It turns out the real reason is that they automatically go to whatever the most comfortable location is and take it...which is quite frequently on pillows. She also demands to be treated as an equal.

I had a (probably) yellow lab/German Sheppard mix before her that I will NEVER forgive myself for giving her up. I was really young, we had to move, and couldn't bring her. She got a good home, I guess, but that was one of the most painful things I've ever had to go through. The look on her face when we were leaving, as she looked at me

I'm totally rambling. Anyway, I love dogs. I wish none of them had to suffer.

Definitely true. The only occassions on which I've seen this faulted are true to stereotype Doberman Pinschers (habitually tactful), and even they have sweet personalities in their own way.

Well, this is also true of men if you can convince one that you are the source of all happiness.

Hmm...this is more subjective, really.

The exceptions I'm aware of are cases in which one is attempting to assert an alpha role, and this is only if the dog perceives you as incompetent. Say, you don't get them their food regularly, you don't give them sufficient attention, you attempt to stare them down when they've already shown themselves to be accepting of their social position thus sometimes communicating uncertainty or insecurity, etcetera.
Oh, if only they could. A dog that just got some muff is the cockiest animal you'll ever see in your life.

I'm afraid they do. In fact, they can become quite a nuisance when someone seems to threaten the happy, little family.

No, sometimes they just get all sullen, particularly if you've made it clear that you don't appreciate them butting in.

When you throw the ball and the dog just eyeballs you for your trouble...you can't throw. This is a particular habit of Labrador retrievers.

True, but sometimes they can pick a favorite.

Find someone who is clearly more intelligent than yourself, and this is possible to acheive with a human. Unless you feel...threatened by it.

Put a human and another human together, and give one an electric cattle prod.

Not your stereotypical doberman. They're very taciturn, from what I've heard.

Sometimes I wonder...

Oh, man, this is so wrong, it's unbelievable. Believe me, these animals can be so vain among other dogs, it's funny.

And tics. Tics bite.

Failing that, they understand a rolled-up newspaper rather well.

Actually, some abuse victims need years of readjustment before they'll be right.

Nah, just tearing into each other's flesh when they happen to be annoyed with each other, and sometimes an alpha-oriented male can be quite cruel in some breeds.

Grooves in both sides of door.

Yeah. Unless you overdo the seasonings, in which case they show their displeasure in clear, simple terms. They puke it up.

Electric cattle prod...

Fire hose...


Tracking collar...in the case of bolt-cutters, implanted chip containing high explosives.

Hehehe, absolutely.

Also true.

Some exceptions will always try to steal the driver seat.

Electric cattle prod to pelvic region...

No, they just go chasing after rabbits until you're even more lost.

Yay!

Yay!

Except for food, shelter, etc.

Good call.

Or they're trying to get a taste of your last meal. You don't really need a toothbrush when you have a dog on the premises.

Yeah.

Actually, we had one old lab who used to bother the cats by trying to copy our affections toward them. The cats wouldn't have minded it so much, but it always left them covered in saliva. Hehehe, farts lol.

I suggest you cure yourself of that right away. You only get bit if you let on you're frightened of them. It tells them you're someplace you don't belong. Remember, a doberman pinscher who's got you pinned to the ground doesn't want to bite you, so just stay put until either he lets you loose or someone who has authority over him comes along. One or the other will happen eventually as long as you keep yourself relaxed. They can see tension, and they always get edgy when it looks like you're about to do something. Pitt Bulls are a slightly different story, but you can usually get out of trouble with them just by being friendly and gregarious; the ones who get mauled are the ones who tried to run when they weren't being chased, which is the most stupid thing you can do with a dog that's got strong play-chase instincts and ain't knowing of his own strength, or tried to play stare-down with them when the dog woulda been keen to let them on about their business. If you're ever in enough of a bind you're worried for your well-being, maintain an erect, confident posture (eyes level, not directed downward or at the dog) and a commanding voice, or, if you're on the ground, keep your fist shoved down his throat with your weight pressing the air from his lungs until he gets tired of choking, and, again, you can always get stitches if you need 'em. Fear always gets you bit, no matter what size or breed you're dealing with. Remember, you're probably stronger and more dextrous than most any dog, and most exceptions are usually as gentle an animal as you can find.

Last edited by Griff on 02 May 2007, 11:25 am, edited 8 times in total.

I find that dogs are also cuter than humans.

I prefer dogs to people for many of the reasons already stated within this thread . I was however surprised to see no mention of dogs that are trained to help people who have aspergers , they do a wonderfull job along with other types of assistance dogs who change there owners lives for the better.
bb natty

Better

I've never heard of that. What do they do?

Yes, I like most dogs better than people. I bring mine almost everywhere and have considered finding out the qualifications for him to be a service dog so I can bring him even more places.

Wolfpup

They help with sensory overload by doing things like alerting there owner to someone calling their name or alerting the person to somthing like an emergency vehicle approaching from behind . they can help people navigate there environment better , help them to not get lost, give them an excuse to leave a situation that is too difficult . They generally help to reduce meltdowns in lots of different ways as well as helping people with meeting people , because they can talk about the dog rather than chit chat that is confusing.

bb natty